Secrets, boundaries, all of it. For the most part, Jules avoided thinking about how she lived a double life these days. She couldn’t avoid it forever, though, not as things with Vivian were getting hot and heavy. One of the reasons Vivian had agreed that it was okay for her to work at Du Jour was because they weren’t having sex.

She gnawed her lip. It wasn’t that bad. People did it all the time. She could have Vivian and her job.

Couldn’t she?

Chapter 45

Chapter 45

The evening before the ultrasound was more subdued than usual.

Vivian appeared focused not on the baby’s sex but on the other things the ultrasound could uncover. Irregularities. Abnormalities. Health concerns. Anything that would indicate matters weren’t proceeding in perfect order.

After a dinner neither of them finished, they retired to the den as usual. But when Jules opened her mouth to speak, Vivian waved her hand and stared off into space. She looked haunted.

Jules took a deep breath, folded her hands in her lap, and waited.

But Vivian said nothing, and nothing, then some more nothing.

Finally, after about two minutes (which felt very long when you were waiting for someone to speak), Jules said, “You okay?”

“Of cour…” she trailed off, then finished, “Not completely.”

No matter the circumstances, it still took Jules’s breath away to be trusted with Vivian’s honesty. “The ultrasound?”

“No, Julia, the sloppy Photoshop on the Charleston mock-up. What do you think?” Vivian snapped.

“Hey now. The Charleston mock-up was going to be my next guess.”

When Vivian scowled at her, she added, “I’m not kidding. It would have been.”

“It looks so cheap, it could—” Vivian stopped and shook her head. “I take your point.”

Jules gave her a small smile. “It’ll all be okay.”

“You can’t say that for certain. Nobody can.”

“This time tomorrow we can,” Jules said stubbornly.

Vivian rolled her eyes. “I appreciate the optimism.” She put a hand protectively on her stomach. “There are certain facts that come with pregnancies past thirty-five. You should know that from all the reading you’ve been doing. My body’s…not at its best for this.”

She drummed her fingertips on her stomach and gazed toward the window while Jules figured out what she wasn’t saying.

The easy answer would be Vivian, you’re in great shape. Or maybe women your age have healthy babies all the time.

“You can’t help being forty-two,” Jules said. “It just…happened when it happened.”

Vivian was silent, her eyes hooded, but at least she looked back at her.

Jules tucked one foot beneath her other knee and rested her elbow on the back of the love seat. She took a deep breath. “Is it okay if I ask why you canceled the abortion?”