He was at her nipples now, this overgrown adolescent, sucking, but too hard, making her sore and angry. So many men were plagued with premature ejaculation, impotence, and other sexual dysfunctions, but always the wrong men. But as soon as those thoughts passed through her mind, they were drowned out by a roar of remorse. So she lay there, moving her body lightly, trying to set off a spark, something that she, or, less likely, he could fan into a flame. Thomas was in for the long haul at her chest. He was hesitant, always had been, about touching her anywhere below the waist, as if it might be disrespectful to do so.

Dale had been a different sort of lover, a strutting, self-satisfied tease who had absolutely no shame or self-consciousness, who played with every inch of her body until she wanted him so badly she’d find herself pleading with him. With Dale, there had been nothing forbidden or off-limits, no request she couldn’t make, no desire of hers he couldn’t intuit almost as soon as she felt it. But years ago, she’d trained herself to stop thinking about Dale’s uncanny expertise—especially when Thomas was making love to her. It couldn’t be a good sign that she was drifting into fantasies of him now.

Thomas was above her, about to make his entry. He had a limited repertoire of moves, and he always ran through them in the exact same order, like a folk singer who plays the same songs in the same sequence interspersed with the exact same, supposedly spontaneous, patter. Not that she didn’t share some of the burden of responsibility, but whenever they made love she was filled with a profound lethargy, as if she’d been drugged. She found it hard to move her legs, tilt her pelvis, give him any assistance or encouragement.

“Is this all right?” he asked, more considerate and gentle than her gynecologist.

She managed a smile and nodded. “Mmmm,” she said. “Yes, it’s fine.”

She tried to talk herself into feeling cared for, filled with his love and kindness, but she felt invaded, as if a salesman had entered the house and was about to start a long tedious demonstration of a vacuum cleaner.

“Is this all right?”

“It’s fine,” she said, a little more sharply this time.