Chapters (29)
“You’re a fine one to go talking about what’s true,” Sarah said. “You with all your lies and your lists. You want to hear truth, I’ll tell you some truth. I got the results back from those tests of mine the doctor took last month, and I’m about six months from dead.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My whole body’s full of cancer. Every damn inch of it.”
Jane sat back down on the sofa and wiped her eyes, not sure what to make of this. “Thomas said the doctor gave you a clean bill of health.”
“I didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell anyone. You’re the first person I mentioned it to. And I don’t plan to tell anyone else, so please don’t go spreading it around.”
Jane found that she was taking in short, shallow breaths. Sarah had made the announcement of the cancer as a big “Gotcha! Score one for me!” Still, Jane was struck dumb by the news. And moved, in some unexpected way, by the fact that she’d chosen to tell her at all. She wanted to cross the room and take Sarah’s hand. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry. What did they say . . .”
Sarah waved one of her big hands. “I’m not going into detail. And don’t be sorry for me. Just know one thing, Jane, I plan to make sure everything’s right before I crawl into the grave. For Thomas and for Gerald, and even for you. So let’s not dance around each other anymore.”
5.
Back in her own bedroom, Jane sat on her bed and stared at the phone. Now she saw clearly that the whole desperate day had been headed toward this. Be like Chloe, she told herself, learn from your mistakes. It would be a relief, a huge sigh of relief once she’d done it. She called his private voice mail. No personal message from him, so at least she didn’t have to hear the sound of his voice.
“It’s me,” she said. “I can’t do this anymore. Let’s pretend it never happened. No hard feelings, all right? And please, don’t call me back. Let’s just leave it at this.”
Like all heels and rakes and cads, Dale was a man of honor; he’d respect her wishes and she wouldn’t hear from him. In six months or more, they’d bump into each somewhere and act as if nothing had happened. She took off her clothes and stuffed them all into the bag for the dry cleaner. But no, she didn’t want any reminders of her last afternoon with him, so she stuffed them into a plastic bag, tied it closed, and tossed it into the wastebasket.