“I haven’t been to a doctor yet. I want to wait to tell him till I’m sure.”

“But he does know you stopped taking pills?”

“No. I don’t want him to feel responsible at all,” she said. “He can stay or go, whichever he wants. I don’t want to tie him down, or make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. I just want his baby. I’ll support it and take care of it if he doesn’t hang around. I just don’t think that he ought to have to live with a thing I did on my own. Do you see?”

“Yeah.”

“I never wanted a child before. I never thought of it at all, except as something I should try to prevent. Having a baby was always ‘getting into trouble.’ I’ve known a lot of men before Omar. But none of them ever brought it to my mind. After the first time, we were lying there, he was still on top of me with his face in my neck. The feeling just came to me, it started at my toes, that I wished something would come of it. You know? Like anything that beautiful and good should have consequences.”

“So what will you do if he leaves?”

“I’ll have my baby and keep it.”

“Have you got any money?”

“My parents might let me have some. I can work.”

“Have you ever worked?”

“I used to model swimsuits for a department store. Last summer I was a waitress at a place in Big Sur.”

“Well, that’s a reference, anyway.”

“But my folks will keep sending me money until I don’t come home in June. Will you not tell Omar? I want to wait to tell him when I’m sure.”

“I won’t.”

I carried the heavy things to the car: the half-empty bag of rice, stacks of books, records, the record player. We crammed it all in. It was getting dark, too late for a second trip that day. Angelica sat in front and kept trying to jump into Carlotta’s lap. I held her with one arm and the ignition wires with the other.

“She’s excited,” Carlotta said. “She’s never been out in the country. She’ll love it. There are lots of woods and fields around the house.”

I curled my fingers in her fur to hold her down. Her bones beat against me, but she didn’t bark.

“Do you know what a person’s supposed to do when they’re pregnant?” Carlotta asked.

“Well, you have to go to a doctor regularly. He’ll tell you. Eat greens and all that.”

“Doctors are such horseshit. Indian women didn’t pay any attention until they knew it was about time, and then they just went off by themselves and had their baby.”