I went up to the house then. There were clothes piled in the living room. I looked at Laura’s mink coat, tossed beneath a chair. It was pretty ratty. I drank from the tap in the kitchen and went outside. Kate was jumping around on her rope. She’d eaten what was interesting from the garbage and couldn’t reach any grass. I tied her to a tree at the edge of the lawn on my way out.

The fewmet of the bully

In the old days it was considered crass, ill-bred, and potentially criminal to ram the lady in front of you with your shopping cart simply because she had slipped into the checkout line out of turn. One was encouraged simply to accept the proffered offense. The myth of the Golden Rule was so widely respected that the most avaricious landlord could be made to squirm if accused of violating it. It was a feeble weapon, ineffective for prevention and, for most of us, only titillating as a punishment. Still, one knew where one stood. The bitching, the insults, the studious or random malice flourished, but it was quite clearly not nice. Now if a cup of weak coffee should be tossed into the face of the waitress, if an old man is obstructing the path of a more vigorous one and is kicked aside, if a wedded couple shares no holy province in their vows, if your neighbor tells you precisely what she thinks of you while munching your cake, it is all right. The waitress will retaliate with a ketchup bottle, the old man will lash out with his cane, the marrieds will sue for simultaneous divorce, and you may feel free to elucidate your own opinion of your neighbor. We all express our needs as individuals, defend ourselves, and prevent the buildup of unhealthy frustration and silent resentments.

Personally, I have always found it safer to eat shit. This phrase, peculiarly apt in its redolence of the ignoble canine, refers to the policy of accepting whatever is offered and displaying sweet gratitude or regret, or total self-abnegation in apology, whichever may seem most likely to succeed in placating the enemy. The principles of this approach are twofold: try desperately, no matter how degrading it might be, to make everyone, even the most despicable, fond of you; and avoid trouble at any price. I had nearly forgotten flattery, as rudimentary a tool to the ardent shit eater as a jimmy to a burglar.