“It was a truly remarkable scene. She was tiptoeing around, trying to pace without touching the dirty floor. She kept screaming, ‘Filth! Filth!’ She’d bend over and almost pick something up to demonstrate the filth, but at the last minute she’d realize it was too filthy and jerk her hand away. We were sitting up on the mattress by that time, with the blankets pulled up to our chins, and she was marching up and down being very careful not to look at us. Said she was going to have us charged with malicious property damage and she’d never rent to students again, and how her mother had warned her but she’d been deceived by my nice manners. She even said she’s going to complain to the college and what would my mother think if she saw me in this kind of situation? Jabbering on and on, and all the time aching to sneak a peek at us, you know? At first we were a little scared, this crazy lady comes bursting into the room where we’re sleeping, but it got funny very quickly. I started to grin and just couldn’t stop. I winked at Lotta and she started to laugh. The lady really blew her top then. She just started screaming! Called Lotta a slut and a whore who had no respect for anything. Said she knew very well that we aren’t married and that’s a crime against the state and no woman would live in such a mess if she weren’t sick, sick, sick. I got up and started walking toward her with my hands out like you do to a scared horse. I forgot I was naked. I was just trying to calm her down. In the middle of her big yarn about the cats and the smell and the dirt—well, I imagine she’d been working up her nerve to turn around and get a good look at me. But when she saw me standing there smiling at her, she flipped. She screamed, ‘Help! Help!’ and ran away yelling. We could hear her all the way down the block.”

I leaned against the door, my belly aching from laughter.

“Clancy was running around yelling, ‘Fire!’ The phil major in the basement surfaced, everybody on the street poked their heads out to see what was going on. Anyway, she came back with a cop. By then we were dressed. He was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. But it ended up that if everybody moves out right away and we clean the stuff up we won’t get arrested or whatever.”

“But what about Clancy and all those others? They aren’t your cats.”