Merrin rubbed her temples, unwilling to have the conversation yet again. ‘I can’t face it. I’m not ready.’ She closed her eyes again, feeling her heart beat a little too fast. ‘What’s it like when you see the Mortimers? How has it been between you and Loretta?’ She managed to say the woman’s name now with ease; gone was any consideration of what might be polite or prudent.

Heather drew breath. ‘I don’t really see her too much, love. I mean, no more than to wave at or nod good morning to. And it’s a little awkward, but it’s fine. We always got on well, really. Friends in our own way. And we live in a small place, so . . .’ Merrin refrained from adding that she didn’t have to tell her that. ‘Plus, I don’t work for her any more. I handed in my notice.’

‘You gave up your job? Oh, Mum.’ She hung her head, knowing this had been kept from her and smarting with the realisation that her mum and dad had lost a large chunk of income. ‘It’s all my fault.’

‘No, it isn’t, it’s Digby’s fault.’

‘And hers. His mother. It’s her fault too.’

‘Maybe, but as I say, he’s a grown man, not a child, and he should have found his balls and spoken up earlier or stood up to her, either way.’

Merrin laughed. Her mum’s sentiments pretty much echoed her own. ‘You said “balls”.’

‘Yes, I did.’ Heather was smiling now, she could tell. ‘I’ve taken a couple of your old shifts at the Port Charles Hotel and it tides us over. Don’t you go worrying about us, we are right as ninepence.’

Merrin wanted to believe this. ‘I want to pay you back, Mum. I’m going to set up a monthly transfer; it’s not much, but it’ll make me feel less rubbish.’

‘You don’t have to do that.’

Merrin read between the lines that the money might be useful. It was the least she could do.

‘And have you met anyone nice?’

‘You mean like a potential boyfriend?’ Her lip curled and her stomach dropped at the thought.

‘Yes.’

‘No.’ She didn’t socialise at all, preferring to keep herself to herself, and had not allowed herself to make a friend, let alone find a boyfriend. ‘Definitely not. I can’t see me ever committing to anyone like I did with him. I don’t think it’s worth the risk. It hurts too much, Mum. Even now. It changed me.’

‘Oh, it is, Merry!’ Her mum’s tone was urgent. ‘Don’t ever think that. It is worth the risk. It would be the greatest shame if you didn’t let yourself love and be loved, it really would. I can’t think of a life without your dad in it, no matter he drives me crackers! Or my girls.’