‘I’m ignoring you, Mrs K.’ Bella cleared her throat. ‘Now, I’m going to give you the basics. And it’s all to do with his wiggle and your tuppence.’ Even Bella struggled to contain her laughter.

‘Tuppence!’ Merrin clutched her stomach, as laughter erupted from her. ‘I haven’t called it “tuppence” since we were at primary school!’

‘Well, I don’t know what else to call it.’ Bella seemed to consider her options. ‘I quite like “lady garden”.’

‘Lady garden!’ Ruby shrieked. Merrin was becoming increasingly glad her dad had left the house.

‘My mother prefers the word “privates”,’ Bella added.

‘Privates!’

The girls laughed loudly, and even her mum joined in. This was more like the mirth and joy she had envisaged for her wedding day.

‘Knock knock!’ came the sound of a male voice.

Merrin whipped her head towards the back door, where Jarvis Cardy – the same Jarvis whom Ruby had punched in the mouth over a decade ago – stood, wearing the jeans and a sweatshirt he wore to fish and holding an envelope.

The sight of him, and all he had possibly witnessed, was enough to send the ensemble into the next level of hysterics.

‘Jarvis!’ Merrin jumped up, trying to contain her giggles. ‘How long have you been standing there?’

‘Long enough, Merry.’ He looked away and shifted his feet awkwardly. ‘I just brought you a card.’ He walked forward hesitantly with the card in his outstretched hand.

‘Oh, Jarvis, thanks! That’s lovely.’ She held her dressing gown closed at the neck and took the shiny gold envelope from her friend.

‘It’s a fancy one; I got it in town. It’s not one from the shop.’

It meant the world that he had gone to so much trouble. Mrs Everit’s selection of cards in the village store was no more than a yellowing assortment of faded tat, covering children’s birthdays and one or two ‘In Sympathy’, but certainly nothing that would be suitable for the Port Charles wedding of the year.

‘I’ll save it and open it later with Digby, if that’s okay.’

‘’Course it is.’ Jarvis coughed and his cheeks blushed crimson.

The room fell quiet, as if all were equally embarrassed, not only by what he might have overheard, but also by the fact that he had briefly been Merrin’s boyfriend before Digby. Merrin felt acutely aware that in a parallel universe it could have been him at home right now, looking for cufflinks and ironing his good shirt, him waiting for her at the end of the aisle.

‘I’d best let you get on. Good luck, Merry. Enjoy your day.’

‘I will, and thanks for the card.’ She held it aloft as he turned slowly, as if reluctant to leave. He hovered in the doorway, taking her in, head to toe.

‘And Merry.’ He swallowed.

‘Yes?’

‘I just wanted to say . . .’ Again he faltered, and licked his lips.