Back To Love and Be Loved
Chapters (33)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. START READING
  5. PROLOGUE
  6. CHAPTER ONE MERRIN
  7. CHAPTER TWO MERRIN
  8. CHAPTER THREE JARVIS
  9. CHAPTER FOUR MERRIN
  10. CHAPTER FIVE JARVIS
  11. CHAPTER SIX MERRIN
  12. CHAPTER SEVEN MERRIN
  13. CHAPTER EIGHT BEN
  14. CHAPTER NINE MERRIN
  15. CHAPTER TEN MERRIN
  16. CHAPTER ELEVEN JARVIS
  17. CHAPTER TWELVE MERRIN
  18. CHAPTER THIRTEEN MERRIN
  19. CHAPTER FOURTEEN MIGUEL
  20. CHAPTER FIFTEEN MERRIN
  21. CHAPTER SIXTEEN MIGUEL
  22. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN MERRIN
  23. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN MIGUEL
  24. CHAPTER NINETEEN MERRIN
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY DIGBY
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE MERRIN
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO MERRIN
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE MERRIN
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR JARVIS
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE MERRIN
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX MERRIN
  32. EPILOGUE
  33. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

‘If I must. What I can tell you is this: if you’re on the pill and you drink too much wine and throw up, you might also throw up your contraceptive, and that makes you more likely to get up the duff. Oh, and if a tall, handsome Dutchman tells you he can see a future with you, he might actually just be saying that to get into your knick-knacks and not mean it at all. Oh! And if for the briefest moment you think that what you’re feeling might be the dizzying first effects of love, remind yourself that, most likely, it is in fact the dizzying effect of the white wine you have necked – the same white wine that will make you sick and ultimately get you pregnant!’ On cue, baby Glynn cried and Bella jostled him into a new position so he could feed on the other side.

‘I can’t wait.’ Ruby looked up and reached out, taking the mug of tea from Merrin’s hand. ‘I can’t wait to become a mum.’

Bella nodded. ‘I joke, Rubes, and you know things have been shit for me, but’ – she stared at the face of her baby boy – ‘the way I love him: it’s like nothing on earth.’

‘And it doesn’t fade, Bella,’ her mum added, taking in both of her girls. ‘It never fades.’

Merrin felt a flush of guilt, knowing her mum missed her on a daily basis and wishing things weren’t so complicated.

‘And what about how you feel towards Dad. Has that ever faded?’ How had her mother felt reassured enough to take the leap? Ruby, too. Merrin was intrigued, having seen first-hand how very wrong it could go and how damaging it could be.

‘Oh, goodness.’ Her mum held the curling tongs still and looked towards the sea, gently shaking her head. ‘Your dad is . . . well, he’s part of me. I loved him completely from the beginning and something that’s complete is, I think, perfect. God knows it’s not always an easy life.’

They all laughed.

‘But it’s the only life I’d choose. I can’t imagine not being his wife and I can’t imagine any sort of happy life without him in it.’

Merrin felt the pull of tears, sick at just how wrong she had got it with Digby.

Suddenly the door to the cottage flew open, and there stood her dad in his underpants and t-shirt with a pint glass in his hand.

‘For the love of God, Ben! Where’s your trousers?’ Heather barked at her grinning husband.

‘I lost ’em. Long story!’ He turned back to the cobbles to catch the eye of Jarvis, Miguel and Robin, who had collapsed on to each other in fits of laughter. ‘You ladies carry on! I’m not staying, just come back for some fresh clothes.’ He winked at his wife and ran up the stairs.