I couldn’t believe he came back. All that time of lying there thinking about him and wishing he’d come back and then he did. I just had on my housecoat and my underwear. I still had my makeup on. I couldn’t wait to let him in.

I turned on the porch light and watched him try to get out of his truck. I didn’t know what was wrong with him at first. He was staggering. And his face was all bloody. He’d been in a fight.

I got scared then. It took him about three tries to get up on the porch, and then he had to hold onto a post. He was the drunkest human I’d ever seen. I almost didn’t recognize him.

He knocked on the door. I didn’t know whether to open it or not. I hadn’t been expecting him to be the way he was. I didn’t know what to do. He kept knocking and finally I slipped the chain on and opened the door just a crack. I was scared to let him in.

He was weaving. He had blood all over his chin. He could just barely talk. It was hard to understand what he was saying, but he said something about it being so late. I said Yes, it was, and I asked him what he wanted. He said he just wanted to talk to me. I don’t know what I could have been thinking of. He looked dangerous.

I told him he was drunk and I asked him again what he wanted. He kept saying that he’d sober up in a little bit. Then he asked me if he could come in. I told him it was awfully late. I didn’t even really know him. I didn’t know what he might do while he was drunk. He’d already been fighting, what else would he do? I knew that if I let him in he’d never leave, or he’d pass out and I wouldn’t know what to do with him. Or what if he tried to rape me? I couldn’t let him in.

I tried to be as gentle with him as I could. I told him it would be better if he went on home. I told him it was after ten. He asked me if I had any coffee. He said if he had some coffee he’d sober up. But he could barely stand. And he was driving. I thought, What if he left in his truck and killed somebody, or himself, before he got home? Maybe I should have let him stay. But I was scared to let him stay. He looked so wild. His eyes were as red as blood.