“Well, if we’re going to do this, then we need to do it right,” Wilder says, a challenge in his eyes.

And I can see it, that spark, that intrigue. For him, this is fun. This is what he’s looking for in his life. And if that’s what he wants, then fine… I can play this game too. I don’t have to sit back and be embarrassed. If he wants to have a life experience, then by all means, Wilder, let’s play.

“He’s right.” I lean back on the couch and relax my body, shaking my limbs out. “I’m sorry. I was trying to put on a good face, but he’s very, very right. I’m lying. Nothing is great about being here, other than the cheese Danish I had this morning.”

“And why is it not great?” Sanders asks, not a ball in sight, no hockey stick to be seen. And apart from the pajama pants, this feels like we’re seeing the true therapist, which seems odd. Don’t you think you’d want to show this side of yourself on the first therapy appointment? Or is that just me?

Then again, nothing about his practice is conventional, so not surprised that he’s switching tactics.

“Well, you know, we’re in a rough patch right now, and staying in the cabin that we’re staying in is just a reminder of everything we’re not…participating in.”

Sanders nods knowingly. “I see. You’re in the red square cabin, correct?”

“Yes,” I answer.

“That’s the one you chose.”

Um, what?

“Chose?” I ask.

“Yes,” Sanders says, looking confused. “It was the one chosen in your application.”

Wilder filled out the application.

“Are there different cabins?” I ask.

“Oh yes, they’re all themed to the couples’ preferences. On the application, when asked about your sex life, you marked ‘thriving’ and ‘adventurous,’ so the staff thought it was appropriate to put you in the red square cabin.”

I shoot a look at Wilder, who has a guilty expression. Smiling, I say, “Um, Sanders. Would I be able to have one moment alone with my husband?”

He looks between us and says, “Normally, I’d say whatever you need to say to each other should be said in front of me, but I can see that maybe something needs to be discussed here without a witness, and because of the fragility of your marriage, I think I’m going to give you a quick five.” He walks out on the balcony and shuts the sliding glass door.

I turn to Wilder, and in a scary whisper, I say, “You said our sex life was thriving and adventurous?”

He starts chuckling, his smile stretching across his cheeks. “Holy shit, is that why they put us in that bedroom?”

“Uh, duh, you idiot! The reason handcuffs kept rattling against the bedpost last night was because of you.”