“Because you’re not the best at paying attention,” Mika says before booping my nose. “Maybe use that in your marriage counseling tomorrow. I’m giving him your contact info. Expect a text from him.”

When Mika’s done, he sticks his phone back in his pocket and then moves down the bar to a couple that just arrived.

I turn to Denise and whisper, “This is a bad idea.”

“Just get through the session tomorrow, blame everything on Wilder to save face, and then move on, simple as that. When your boss asks why things didn’t work out, you can push all blame to the husband. You look good, and then you can go and live your life.”

I nod, mulling that over. “You know, that’s not a terrible plan.”

“Precisely, and that’s why you have us as friends.”

I blow out a steady breath. “Yeah, this might work.” I nervously laugh. “For a second there, I thought I was going to have to FaceTime Matt into the counseling session.”

Denise shakes her head. “Not an option. We don’t associate with the devil anymore.”

I chuckle. “No…no, we don’t.”

Chapter Three

WILDER

“Binoculars, binoculars, where art thou, binoc—aha, there you are. You motherfucker, diagonal and backward, should have known.”

I highlight the word binoculars in my word search with a green Sharpie highlighter. They have a clear window to look through while you’re highlighting, making them the best on the market at the moment. I pick up my Diet Coke with lime, take a sip, and then start looking for the word cravat.

Tonight’s word search theme—things you wear around your neck.

The night took a turn for the worse when I had to try to find noose. I thought it was vastly inappropriate, but this isn’t my normal word search brand. It’s one Mika found for me when he was visiting his friends upstate. He liked that there was a swear-word puzzle. I’m not a prude by any means—some might say I have a dirtier mouth than others—but there’s a time and fucking place for it, and it’s not in a word search puzzle.

I readjust my stretched-out legs, getting more comfortable, just as my phone beeps next to me. I glance at the screen, and when I see Mika’s name pop up, I pick it up.

Mika: Scottie needs a fake husband for a therapy session tomorrow. You in?

Well, that’s random.

But also intriguing. I set my puzzle down and text back.

Wilder: She weird?

Mika: She’s my friend, what do you think?

Wilder: Slightly weird, but solid personality.

Mika: Exactly. You in?

I think on it for a second. I mean, there’s not much context to his message, but then again, things have been pretty flat around here, and I could use a new experience to mix up my day-to-day.