I slowly nod, taking in the space. “Yeah, you’re not dreaming, unless we were both knocked out and this is us simultaneously dreaming together. Although that seems less likely.”

“Less likely than a camp cabin set up for erotica?”

“Good point.” I walk up to the bed and tug on one of the handcuffs. “That’s taut.” I drag my hand over the plush comforter. “Surprisingly full.” I then turn toward Scottie and say, “This is really fucking weird.”

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m sleeping here,” she says with a shake of her head. “It’s a sex dungeon.”

“I think dungeon is a strong word, because there’s a window with curtains. Maybe consider…sex palace. The comforter has palace-like qualities.”

“Wilder.”

“Hmm?”

“We’re not sleeping here.”

“Okay, want to grab a tent? Because I think that’s our only other option, unless you want me to see if the Brads and Chad don’t mind us crashing with them. Then again, Sanders made it seem like all the other rooms had the same design style.”

“I’m being serious, Wilder.”

“So am I. This is it. I don’t think there are other styles of accommodations.”

She glances around, hugging her arms tightly around her. “I don’t want to touch anything. How much sex do you think has been had in this room?”

“I mean…” I look around. “If these walls could talk, they probably would moan from the amount of sex they’ve seen.”

“Gross.” Scottie shivers. “Call me a prude, but I don’t want to sleep on the same mattress where people get tied up and stare off at zoomed-in nipples on the wall.”

“To be fair, it looks like there are handcuffs, not ties. A bit of a difference there.”

“Why are you making light of this?” she asks, looking very annoyed.

“Because,” I say, “if I don’t make light of it, then I think both of us would spiral, and we can’t both be spiraling.”

“We need to spiral. We need to find a different place for slumber, because sex palace isn’t it.”

“I’m right there with you on the sex palace thing, but I honestly don’t think there is another option, and listen, I read online that they have a pretty intense cleaning service.”

“Ew, why is that something they need to state?”

“Probably for this precise reason.” I gesture around the room. “So couples like us come into the sex palace and feel comfortable having fun.”

Still looking really uncomfortable, she walks over to the dresser and takes a look at the “offerings” just as there’s a knock at the door, startling the both of us.

“Come in,” I shout.

Sanders pops in, holding a basket. “Almost forgot, here’s your prize for winning the golf tournament.” He winks. “Have fun.”