“Hi,” Wilder and I say at the same time.

“Now, I understand there might be some growing tension between the two of you, and maybe you aren’t entirely comfortable with not only being here but being tied up together and put to task within a half hour of arriving. But please, for the sake of peace at the camp, save the snarky commentary for our lash-out sessions. While we’re together as a group, we need to keep the harmony.”

My cheeks flame with embarrassment, because I’m usually one to follow directions and listen to the rules.

“Sorry about that,” Wilder says and then lets out a heavy breath. “Tension is high.”

“Yes, sorry,” I say again. “Long, tense road trip, and now we’re tied up together without taking a breather. Not sure I can remember the last time we spent this much time together consecutively.”

Understanding crosses Sanders’s face, thankfully. “I get it, but please don’t disturb the peace of others.”

“Sure,” Wilder says. “Apologies again. We’ll do better.”

“Thank you.” Sanders nods and walks away.

When we’re left alone, I turn away from everyone and whisper, “Well, we made people believe we hate each other. Good job.”

“Yeah, I think people are thinking they might have issues in their marriage, but at least they’re not as bad off as us.”

“Precisely.”

“By the way, I didn’t do a lot of munching in college.”

“Nor did I do a lot of swallowing,” I reply, feeling so ridiculous saying that.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not good at it,” he adds. “Not about quantity, it’s about quality.”

“Same, Wilder. Same.”

“Deep breath,” Wilder says into my ear as we line up our last hole. “We got this.”

It’s been a pretty intense game. We’ve scored two holes in one and two pars while arguing the entire time. There has been staring from the others. Whispering. And even the occasional wince when I’ve accidentally elbowed Wilder in the ribs. And through all that, we are miraculously tied with Chad and his wife.

You can imagine their displeasure.

But despite all that, we have a solid chance at winning if we can get this hole in one. The course is basic, has smooth greens and very few obstacles, and just needs precise accuracy and communication with your partner to get a hole in one. Seems easy, but it’s not. Especially when you’re tied to each other.

“You lead,” I say.

“I know what I’m doing,” Wilder snaps, startling me. “You don’t have to lady-nag all the time.”

A collective gasp sounds throughout the women of the group. And when I glance up to catch the reactions of our fellow golfers, I can see just how uncomfortable everyone is.

Well, we wanted to sell how much our marriage is failing. I guess we’re doing a great job at it.