He lets his tongue run over his teeth as he looks off to the side. “I want to,” he says. “I really fucking do. There are times that I miss her. Times that I wish that we could do things together as a family, like Thanksgiving or Christmas, but every time I see her, I just, I think back to that day, and I get so angry.”

“I know,” I say. “I get the same feeling.”

“Then how are you able to be around her?”

“Because I know that Dad would not want us to be split apart like we are. I think about him, and I think about what he would have thought about the division.”

“Cheating on him with his best friend? You think he would have been okay with that?”

“No, but also…Dad wouldn’t have wanted us pausing our lives to take care of him. You and I both know that. He probably would have asked us to move on, to put him in a care facility if he had a chance to express himself.”

Mika shakes his head. “No, he would have wanted to be with his family, his wife.”

“Mika,” I say softly while setting my drink down. “Do you remember Dad before he got in the accident?”

“Of course I remember him,” Mika says, sounding insulted.

“Do you remember how he told us over and over how much he wanted us to live our lives when we were older? How he wanted us to explore? To love. To live…”

Mika nods his head.

“He wouldn’t have wanted us hanging around, waiting on him. You’ve got to know that, Mika.”

He glances down at his hands. It takes him a second, but then he slowly nods. “Yeah, I know you’re right, but it’s hard to look at it that way when you love someone so much.”

“It is. It’s really fucking hard, Mika. This entire situation is hard. Losing our dad when we were in high school and college. Our mom having to raise us, keep a smile on her face like everything was okay while her husband was slowly dying. The entire situation was fucking awful. But I think we need to find some forgiveness. And I know that’s something you’re working on, and I’m proud of you for it.”

“Yeah.” He tugs on his hair. “It’s been harder than I expected.”

“And that’s okay—everyone goes at their own pace—but I need to know that you’re working your way in that direction.”

“Why?” he asks, seeming confused. “Why do you need to know?”