He nods and then still leaves his bowl untouched as he says, “Can I see you after this?”

“Huh?”

“Can I take you out on a date after this, when we get back to the city?”

“Oh.” I shift in my seat. “I mean…is that what you want?”

“I wouldn’t ask if that wasn’t what I wanted.”

“I know, but you said you weren’t ready for anything like that. Dating. Relationships.”

“Well aware what I said,” he replies. “And I’m also well aware of what I’m asking now.”

I set my bowl down on the table as things grow serious very quickly. “I’d like to see you again,” I say, not holding back the truth. “But I just…I want to make sure you’re in the right headspace. You know? Sure, this all feels great now, and there is some clouding of the brain from the fun we’ve been having, but when reality strikes and we’re back in the city, I’m back at my job, and you’re volunteering, I think there are a lot of factors that we need to consider. And I don’t…I don’t think I can risk the idea of being with someone who doesn’t know completely what he wants.”

“Scottie, I know I want to see you again.”

“And I really appreciate that,” I say, the scars on my heart feeling like they’re being tugged on. “But I’ve been hurt badly, and I can see myself becoming very attached to you—a part of me already has—and even though we’re having fun, I can’t risk that attachment out of fear that you’re not going to be ready to take that step forward.”

“But I am.”

I shake my head. “It’s so easy to say that when you’re here at camp, with nothing else going on in your life. I just think…maybe we need to have this conversation later, you know?”

He slowly nods his head. “Yeah, I understand.” He picks up a bowl, and I can see the defeat in his shoulders, which makes me feel awful.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” I say.

His eyes meet mine. “I could never be mad at you, Pips,” he says softly in that deep timbre. “My number one priority when it comes to you is making sure you’re comfortable. I want to make sure you’re taken care of. And if this is how you feel, then that’s that. This journey, it’s about you. It’s not about me.”

“That makes me seem selfish.”

“It doesn’t. But even if it did, don’t you think it’s time for you to be a little selfish?”

“I don’t think there is ever a good time to be selfish,” I reply.