“Nah, there is no need to be sad. It was a good moment, a moment I needed from him, because there were times when my frustration for the situation sometimes outweighed my patience. But that day, I was able to slow down. I was able to have a moment with him. A moment like we had when I was younger. And I always cherished it. I actually carry a picture of that day in my wallet.”

I pull out my wallet, and with my ice cream in one hand and my wallet in the other, I remove the picture and show it to her. She takes it and stares at the picture for a few seconds before she says, “Wow, you really do look like him. Just missing the lip ring.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, my dad would have hated that.”

“Really?” she asks, handing me the picture back so I can stick it in my wallet again.

“Yeah. He didn’t like piercings or tattoos or anything that could alter your appearance.”

“So why did you get a tattoo and piercings?”

“I think it was a way of dealing with my pain. If I marked myself up somewhere else, maybe I wouldn’t hurt as much inside.”

“Did it help?” she asks.

“No. Shocking revelation, you actually have to talk about your pain in order to heal. Can’t keep it all bottled inside.”

“So I’m assuming you went to therapy, then?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “After piercing my dick, I thought, maybe this self-mutilation thing isn’t working. So I went to therapy, and that’s where I learned to forgive my mom—for the most part—there’s still some animosity that I’m working through. I learned to grieve my father’s death, and I learned some coping techniques for how to help Mika. He actually sees my therapist as well.”

“Were you the one who got him to go into therapy?”

“I did,” I say, thinking back to that horrible day when he told me he wasn’t doing well. It was one of the worst days of my life.

‘Wil, I don’t think I can do life anymore. I’m sorry. My heart is just too broken, and I’ve just got no fucks to give…’

And when he started asking for my forgiveness for not being able to stay around, I knew I had to get to him.

It was the most terrifying twenty-four hours of my life, traveling without knowing if he’d still be there when I made it to his home.

“I stayed with him for a while, living in the same apartment. I think you were in Ohio at that point.”

“Yeah, I remember when he told me that you were staying with him. I didn’t know you, but I was grateful. He needed someone watching over him.”