“I learned that Scottie likes it when my hand is up her shirt.”

“Wilder,” she scoffs while both Sanders and I laugh.

“You know, Ellison likes the same thing,” Sanders says. “She also doesn’t mind sharing a sleeping bag.”

“Scottie didn’t mind that either. She actually enjoyed it quite a bit. She got real handsy.”

“Me, handsy?” she says, looking over at me. “You were the one who grazed my boob.”

“If only it was the nipple.”

Her mouth falls open while Sanders continues to chuckle.

“Yeah…well…Wilder had a boner this morning and pretended he had to pee when in reality, he was trying to hide it from me.”

I gasp. “You saw that?”

“The woodland creatures from a mile away saw it,” she deadpans.

I press my hand to my chest. “Babe, are you saying I have a prominent penis? Thank you.”

“Jesus,” she mutters under her breath.

“Okay,” Sanders says. “So if you were aroused this morning, why didn’t you want your wife to see it?”

Oh shit, that’s right, we’re married. Kind of forgot that detail for a second.

I clear my throat and say, “We took a vow of celibacy while we’re trying to work out these issues. Didn’t want to make sex a thing, since we’re both so good. You know, as Sabrina Carpenter would say, we have really good bed chem.”

“Ahh, I see. And if she saw your arousal, that would be…”

“Pressuring,” I answer. “I never want her to feel pressured about taking care of me like that.”

“So you took care of yourself?”

“Not so much,” I say, not caring that I’m talking about this in the slightest. “I stood behind a tree, taking deep breaths as I tried not to think about Scottie’s slumbering yet wandering hand that caressed my dick.”

“What?” she asks, pulling back. “I didn’t caress you.”

“Oh babe, you most certainly did,” I say with a smirk.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Uh, yeah, you did. You flipped over while I was on my back, moved your hand around my chest and stomach—she’s always loved my abs, man⁠—”

“You are a very fit man,” Sanders says.

“Thank you. And then from there, her hand went right over the old dong. Made me nearly jump out of my shorts. That’s when I scrambled out of the sleeping bag and the tent, claiming I had to go to the bathroom.”

“And what would have happened if you didn’t flee? What if you just let her touch you while she was sleeping?” Sanders asks as he avoids a rock in the path.

“Uh, well…I would have been panting and begging for more as she wandered her hand around. I probably would have slipped up on our pact, pushed her shirt up, and while she had her way with me, I’d have had my way with her.”