“I mean, yeah, I fucking am. Where does that douche come off, attacking you like that? He has no right. And over what? A fucking cabin? You know what…” He looks around the room. “I’ve got an idea.”

Oh God, he has a crazed look in his eyes.

“What are you thinking?” I ask.

He slips his shoes back on and then goes over to the basket of dildos and condoms and the Kama Sutra book. “Let’s spread the wealth.”

Uh, I don’t like that idea.

Not even a little.

“I think maybe we should just stay here,” I say.

He shakes his head and walks over to the nipple picture and snags it off the wall, only to toss it on the bed. Then he grabs the handcuffs from the bed, detaches them, and tosses them in the basket.

“Wilder, what are you doing?”

“Teaching these fucks a lesson.” He tucks the picture under his arm, grabs the basket, and says, “Come on.”

“Wait. Maybe we should think this through.”

“I’ve thought it through. If they’re so desperate for all these things, then we are going to give them the items they crave. Come on, Pips.”

There’s no stopping him, so out of desperation to make sure he doesn’t say anything insane, I follow him. As we approach the firepit, I hear Brad shush everyone just as Wilder sets the basket and picture on the empty Adirondack chair.

The circle stares at him, waiting for his next move, as an acute sweat breaks out on the back of my neck. What is he going to do?

“Since you all seem to be so jealous of the things in our cabin, we thought we would spread the wealth. Chad.” Wilder turns toward him. “Here’s a picture of a nipple. You seem to want to rev up your sex life. Maybe treat it as a genie lamp, rub it, and ask for your sex dreams to come true.” He tosses the picture at Chad.

Oh my God.

He then turns to Duncan and picks up a dildo and some lube. “For you and your husband. Probably the most useful thing I can offer you in this basket besides the handcuffs, but I think we all know who desperately wants those.” Wilder picks up the handcuffs and tosses them at Brad as my stomach churns with embarrassment. “I did not include a key—not even sure if they’re needed—but if you’re tied up for the rest of the days we’re here, it would be a gift for us all.”

“Hey, I was defending you.”

Wilder points at him. “You were bitching about the cabin.”

He then hands Finky a bunch of condoms and a vibrator and leaves it at that.