“I’m not sure everyone would agree with you.”

“Would you?” he asks.

I shrug. “I like bacon in any form. It’s bacon. Just put it in my mouth.”

His lips cutely turn up in a smile. “Put it in your mouth, huh?”

I give him the side-eye. “Your lack of maturity is showing.”

“Is it? Or am I just clarifying?”

“It’s lacking.”

He clutches his chest. “Ooof, a man never wants to hear that.”

I’m about to tell him he’s being ridiculous when a pair of chino shorts steps in front of us.

Who could this be?

My eyes slowly travel up until Finky’s face comes into view. “Are you joining the group for some s’mores?”

S’mores with the Brads and Chad? Yeah, I think I’m good.

“We are,” Wilder says before I can stop him.

What? Nooooo.

“Great. We’re all headed out to the firepit now.”

“So are we. Catch you over there,” Wilder says jovially.

Finky nods and takes off.

Trying to keep my expression neutral and not spit fire at my pretend husband, I say, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What?” he asks.

“I don’t want to go have s’mores with them.”

“Why not?” he asks. “S’mores are good. Have you ever had one?”

“Of course I’ve had one. My God, Wilder.”

“Sorry. It’s just surprising you don’t want one.”

“This is not about the s’mores. This is about not wanting to spend time with my coworkers.”

“Oh, well, we don’t have to talk to them. We can construct our s’mores and then peace out.” Leaning in close, he says, “One thing you need to know about me: I have a sweet tooth, and my night is not complete without a little something sweet.”

“We have Nerds Clusters in the cabin. We could have had those.”

He shakes his head as if he’s really thought about this. “Those are not an after-dinner treat. Those are in-between-scheduled-event treats. We must savor and hold on to those as much as we can. If something like s’mores is offered to us, we must take it and hoard the Nerds Clusters for a day when no treats are offered.”

“Why are you this way?” I ask, hand on my hip.

“I wish I had an answer for you.” He loops his arm over my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s roast some marshmallows and melt some chocolate.”

“Okay, but we’re not staying, and we’re not getting friendly with them. We’re taking care of business, and then we’re leaving. Understood?”