Turning and leaning over a crenelation, he glanced down from three stories to the grassy banks below. He immediately felt a queasiness and instinctively stepped back. Something intangible tempted him to look out again, and this time saw in the green carpet beneath him a possible end to his terrible turmoil. If he could just let himself float down into its soft embrace, his trials, his sorrow, and his wretched life would be over in a second. Sweet Jesu, let me end my misery. I am already damned to hell, so what is one more sin? Summoning the courage to indulge himself in ending it all, he leaned out over the wall farther, sending a shower of loose stones cascading to the ground. How easy it would be to follow them, to know no more…

“And You would leave Ned and me alone, Richard?” Anne’s voice in his brain was as clear as the shout of warning from one of the guards that jolted him from his self-destruction. Rufus gave a responsive bark, and Richard jerked himself erect. He waved off the guard and quietened the dog.

He shivered. How close had he come to self-slaughter, he wondered, dispirited and afraid. He slid his back down the damp wall to sit with Rufus, who nuzzled his master’s wet face.

“Good dog,” he praised him, and then looked up to heaven. Tell me this, Lord, were You not content enough to give me this pathetic body? Have You not denied Anne and me more children? Taken my brothers from me? Have You given me this crown as reward or curse? And now You have Harry betray me” He gave a harsh laugh. Ah, and lest I forget. What punishment will You give me for the deaths of my sweet nephews. I know I shall take the blame.

Aloud, he cried: “Dear God, have pity on me! How much more must I endure to satisfy You? In Jesus’s name, I can bear no more.” He buried his face in Rufus’s rough fur and let the dog’s devotion ease his broken heart.

Little by little, as the drizzle turned to rain, despair turned to resolve, and Richard’s spirit began to revive. He lifted his face to the heavens and made a heartfelt promise: “I will be a better king. I will take care of my subjects, if You will take care of me and mine, O Lord. Let me atone for my past sins by ruling well. I vow I will be strong and do my best for England.”

Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Winter 1483

The old Richard was back.

At least that was how Francis and Rob perceived their friend and king following Richard’s decisive action to suppress the widespread rebellion. They had cheered when Richard had returned from the rooftop and declared: “First things first, I will rid the kingdom of its traitors and in particular my cousin, surely the most untrue creature living.”