The phone rings in my back pocket, and I don’t even look at who is calling. “Hello,” I answer, my low voice almost a whisper.

“Um, Caroline.” His voice comes through, and I open my eyes. “It’s Justin.”

“Um, yeah.” I wipe away my tears as if he can see me. “Did I forget something in your vehicle?”

“No,” he says, and his voice goes soft. “Are you okay?” he asks, and I don’t know why I want to tell him that I’m not okay. That I haven’t been okay in a long, long time.

“I’m fine,” I say. It’s the answer I give everyone because this is my life. As my parents said, I made my bed, and now I have to lie in it. “What’s the matter?”

“So I was thinking that I really don’t use my vehicle during the day,” he starts, “and I know that you’re stuck.”

“I can’t do that,” I say. “I’m not your problem.”

“I never said you were. I’m saying that my vehicle will be parked in a parking lot doing nothing,” he says, and his voice goes softer. “Just take the favor, Caroline.”

“I can’t,” I say, closing my eyes. The door to the bathroom opens, and Dylan comes running out. “I have to go,” I say, disconnecting and looking at him.

“Where’s Dad?” he asks, and I look at my son, who I will protect with everything I have.

“He had to go to work,” I say. “He said he’ll see you soon.” I watch his lower lip tremble, and he blinks and rushes to wipe away the tears. I take a step toward him, but he shakes his head.

“I’m tired,” he says and then runs to the bedroom and gets into the bed. I walk to the bed and sit next to him.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” I say, my fingers playing with his hair, and I lean down and kiss his cheeks.

“Whatever,” he says, and I hear the hissing of the stove and run to see that the water I turned on is no more. I turn off the burner and put the pot in the sink. I catch my breath for just a second before I have to go back into the room, and I find that Dylan’s already asleep. I turn off the light and head to the shower, and only when I’m under the water do I let the tears escape.

Chapter Five

Justin