I don’t have a TV. His voice plays over and over in my head. I couldn’t help but call her. I actually wanted to go to her apartment and take her to Walmart and buy her a TV or even ten. I didn’t care. Instead, she answered me in tears. I know she did because I heard it, and more importantly, I felt it. It’s fucking insane that I have this pull to her. It’s because of Dylan, I keep telling myself. You are drawn to the kid.

I slam my car door, then walk into my condo, and the cold air hits me right away. Closing the door, I walk over to my couch and grab my laptop to bring with me to the island in my kitchen. I have a huge open floor plan, and my sister came down one weekend to make sure I had all my stuff.

Pulling up the documents I got with every kid coming to the program, I type in his name, and it comes up right away with a picture from his school. I read all his information, or I start to, and then I stop. My foot starts to bounce up and down, thinking about whether I should read it or not. I want to read it, but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m snooping. I look at one thing before I decide to shut it down. Single mom.

After shutting the laptop, I walk over to the fridge and open it, grabbing a bottle of water. I close my eyes and think about what they are doing. I take out my phone, and I almost call her again, but then I can hear my sisters’ voices in the back of my head calling me a stalker. I walk toward the balcony and sit outside, watching the lights from the buildings start to shine brighter as the sun goes down. So many things are going through my mind that I don’t know where to start. “This is either the best thing ever, or it’s going to blow up in my face,” I tell the universe while I make my plan for the next day.