10:07:20 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I want to know you’re real

10:07:31 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> To feel your blood pumping, the heartbeat in your hands

10:07:40 <crushedmarigolds> I’ve already done so much to prove to you I’m real

10:07:51 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I suppose I just can’t believe a person as good as you exists

10:08:03 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Don’t you want us to be together?

10:08:10 <crushedmarigolds> Of course I do

10:08:21 <crushedmarigolds> How could you ask me that?

10:08:30 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Then, why can’t we?

10:08:44 <crushedmarigolds> It’s not that I don’t want to

10:08:52 <crushedmarigolds> We’re not ready yet

10:09:01 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Will we be?

10:09:09 <crushedmarigolds> Some day

10:09:17 <crushedmarigolds> Just not today

10:09:24 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> You asked me if there’s something I want

10:09:29 <crushedmarigolds> Yes

10:09:34 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> More than anything in the world

10:09:43 <crushedmarigolds> Tell me

10:09:55 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I want a baby

10:10:02 <crushedmarigolds> Yes

10:10:15 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I want life to carry inside me

10:10:25 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> That’s what I’ve wanted more than anything else

10:10:33 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> To be a mother

10:10:56 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> You still there?

10:11:03 <crushedmarigolds> I wish I could give you that

10:11:09 <crushedmarigolds> I would if I could

10:11:17 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> I know you would

10:11:28 <crushedmarigolds> I can’t stay

10:11:37 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> You have to leave already?

10:11:48 <crushedmarigolds> We’ll talk tomorrow?

10:11:55 <agnes_in_wonderland_76> Always

[<crushedmarigolds> has left the chat]

[<agnes_in_wonderland_76> has left the chat]

EMAIL FROM ZOE CROSS

Date: 06/10/2000

Time: 2:04 a.m.

From: Zoe Cross <crushedmarigolds@[omitted].com>

To: Agnes Petrella <agnes_in_wonderland_76@[omitted].com>

Subject: A Salamander from the Park

I thought of something before going to bed tonight. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said – how you want to carry life, how you want something to care for.

I think there’s a way for us both to get what we want.

I want you to visit a park near your apartment. I checked on the map and I see that there’s a place called White Memorial not far from where you live.

I want you to go there and comb the grounds for a salamander.

A wet, oily little thing – probably could contentedly fit inside the palm of your hand.

You can usually find them in moist areas. They prefer marshlands – freshwater creeks or brooks. I’ve read they typically hide under rocks, their little bodies seeking out damp, cool places.

I want you to take the salamander from where you find it and stuff it inside your pocket. Keep it tucked there so that it’s comfortable. I want you to carry it with you all day. No matter where you go. If it suffocates in there, I want you to return to the park and find another one.

I want you to do this all day until sunset.