But truthfully, we’ve had a hard time over the years finding the kind of staff who can really help us. My husband and I are both very busy in our professional lives, and of course we have these two incredible kids who are really active, too. We were looking for an assistant who could run our household—and handle the challenges that come up every day—the way we would if we weren’t so busy. And we weren’t always finding that. It’s awful when you’ve invested so much time into finding an assistant, training them, forming a good working relationship, and then to have that not work out. It’s a waste of time for everyone involved, but more importantly, it’s emotionally wrenching losing someone who’s been like a member of your family. So the ad was our attempt to be as clear as we could be, right up front, about what our expectations were and the kind of skills we were looking for.

So, who did write the ad?

Our staff. And in a way, they’re the ones most qualified to say what it takes to be excellent at this work. They’ve done the job, they understand it better than I do.

What’s your reaction to the ad going viral? Even Oprah tweeted about it. When Oprah Winfrey thinks you’ve gone overboard, does it give you pause?

Gosh. The comments have been...devastating. I’m such a private person. And to have this caricature of me making the rounds, painting me as this kind of Mommy Dearest figure, someone my friends and family don’t even recognize, has been really painful. It also feels a bit sexist, frankly.

How so?

I’ve seen some of the tweets and the piling on. People think we’re cold and out of touch, that we want to have our cake and eat it, too. But what really seems to get under their skin is that we have high standards for the people who work in our home.

Home is the realm of the female, right? People are calling out the Hollywood Couple, but they’re really calling out me. If my husband has high standards in business, he’s this great leader and the Chamber of Commerce gives him the keys to the city. But if we ask for help in our home and with our children, then that says something about me—that I’m a bad mother or a lousy homemaker, that I don’t love my children enough or I’m some kind of battle ax. When the reality is, nothing could be further from the truth! My children are my entire world. My favorite place on earth is home with them. And I’m actually a pretty decent hostess. I want everyone—friends, family, and staff—to feel welcome in our home.