“I will find it,” I promised. “Let’s try meeting there next time.” My spirits brightened at the prospect of an alternative place to meet, and a way not to stop coming to see Sadie. She was not just some poor girl I was trying to help anymore. At some point, we had become friends.

“It might not be safe for you there either,” she fretted.

“For me? I’m worried that it might not be safe for you.” We laughed softly at the irony. “Aren’t you afraid?” I asked, serious now. The police nearly discovering the grate had made the peril of her situation all the more real. “I mean, not just about coming to the grate, but all of it, living in the sewer...”

“And worrying that, at any time, I might get caught?” she asked, finishing the sentence that I could not. I nodded. “Yes, of course. But what choice do I have? To live with fear or grief or any emotion constantly would be paralyzing. So I put one foot in front of the other and I breathe and I string the days together. It isn’t enough,” she continued, gaining force behind her words. “I want more for my life. But this is the reality.” Her face saddened.

“For now,” I added, admiring her courage. I regretted my question, which seemed to make her feel worse, and quickly changed the subject. “We will try the other grate next time.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” Sadie said, her brow wrinkling, seeming to second-guess her own suggestion. “When Saul and I found the other grate, there were Germans with dogs near the river. But it’s a quieter spot, and if you wait until there are no people around, it may be possible.”

“I’ll manage it,” I said, not at all sure how. The riverbank was open, exposed. We couldn’t possibly meet there during the day when my actions could be easily seen. “Why don’t we try meeting at night instead?”

“Do you think it will be any safer?” she asked doubtfully.

“Maybe.” I was not at all sure that was true. I would have to sneak out and break curfew. But I had to try something. “I’ll have to wait until next Saturday,” I said, thinking of Ana Lucia. Slipping out at night would not be easy and I needed to go when Ana Lucia was either out or entertaining, and would sleep heavily from the alcohol. “Ten o’clock?” I asked.

She nodded somberly. “That should work.”

“I will be there, trust me.”

“I do,” she said solemnly. “Wait for twenty minutes,” she said. “If you don’t see me, it means that it wasn’t safe to come.” None of this was safe, I realized, for her or for me. Fear rose up in me then. I wanted to tell her that it was a bad idea, that we couldn’t possibly do it.

But it was too late. “I will meet you there,” Sadie said, her eyes brimming with hope.