Without a word, she turned and disappeared into the sewer once more.

20

Sadie

Ella was late today. I stood in the tunnel, trying to avoid the rain that slatted through the sewer grate. Wind whipped down, sending the drops sideways, as though they were chasing me. I ducked down into the corner, trying without success to escape the wetness. For once, I wanted to run back to the chamber. But I stayed, certain that Ella would appear.

It was late July now, more than four months since we had first come to the sewer. Mama had been gone for almost three weeks. Ella had not been able to find her, nor learn anything else since I had returned underground. With each passing day it was harder to ignore the undeniable truth that she might not be coming back. Still, I clung to hope because it was the only thing that helped me get through each day. Without my mother, I would have nothing.

It was not just my sadness over Mama’s absence that made things hard to bear—our living conditions had deteriorated, too. The summer weather warmed the air and caused the sewer gasses to become thicker and more foul. Our joints ached from the dampness and strange rashes would appear on our skin.

“At least it isn’t cold,” Pan Rosenberg said once. “I have no idea what we are going to do to survive here next winter.” I looked at him with disbelief. Winter was several months away. Surely he didn’t imagine we would still be here by then.

Despite the worsening conditions, I tried to do better and make Mama proud. I got up in the morning and washed and dressed, kept the chamber neat and read or studied on a regular schedule. The days passed slowly, though, and the lonely nights were even longer, filled with strange, fitful dreams. One night I dreamed I was floating in the sewer river, and that as I was carried along by the current, I was met by my mother and father. I looked for the baby in Mama’s arms.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Who?” Mama replied, seemingly not understanding. But because we had not given my sister a name, words failed me. My parents pulled me close, forming a kind of raft, and we sailed on together, missing one.

Of course, having Saul helped. We had grown closer since acknowledging our feelings. Our moments together, walking and some reading time in the annex, were still stolen ones, not much more than they previously had been. But knowing that he was close by and that he felt the same way about me as I did him made the days without my mother and sister a little easier to bear.

I looked up through the grate now, where the rain had slowed, still hoping to see Ella. She had come every single day as she had promised since the day she had searched for my mother, no matter the weather or how hard it was for her to get away. Each morning I would wait in the shadows until I saw her approaching and then move into view. We didn’t dare talk too much and she would stay for only a few minutes each visit. She had still been unable to find Mama or my sister. Her visits had become a lifeline, though, the thing that kept me going from one day to the next, now more so than ever.