Maybe she could have been patient. She’d kept more company with him in the last turn than she had with any other creature. She could have been kinder too.

In her imagination, Sister Madeleine regarded her seriously, reminding her that there was strength in caring for others.

Curse it. Next time Hæra came ashore, she’d have to apologize to Jonathan. She couldn’t face it yet. With a groan, she continued to the beach, her steps strangely heavy even though her strength was returning.

He was still wrong, though.

Love. What an idea.

Love and hunger were not the same.

CHAPTER SEVEN

That night, alone in the chapel, Madeleine had waited for a voice. Maybe one that said unambiguously, Tell Mother Gertrude yes. That would be helpful.

No such voice had spoken to her. Now, she lay awake in one of the bedrooms reserved for visitors instead of the room she shared with another sister, so she could remain in solitude as Mother Gertrude had ordered.

If she were Superior, she’d get her own cell—along with some privacy—for the first time since she’d begun her postulancy. That’d be nice.

Just say yes.

That wasn’t the voice of God. That was her own, pleading with her to make things simple and do what she was told instead of arguing.

Talk about what didn’t come naturally. Besides, if she became Superior, she’d have to make executive decisions. She’d owe obedience to Mother Gertrude, but she’d have to assert herself too. That wouldn’t be too difficult, even if Agnes made herself a thorn in Madeleine’s side. Madeleine could pull this off.

No, you can’t.

That voice came from deep inside, much deeper than the one that urged her to walk the straight and narrow path. She had a horrible feeling the second voice was the honest one, urging her to look at what she’d avoided for too long. A voice that said, Are you sure you’re not seeking a family to replace the one you lost? Are you sure you’re not running away?

Especially from yourself?

She’d heard it before, off and on, for years, and had always silenced it. She’d managed not to listen because things continued on a steady pace from day to day, and with no big changes on the horizon. Why look at what didn’t bear seeing?

Now, a big change was staring her in the face, and she had to stare back. Her steady course had diverted, courtesy of a force she couldn’t ignore, and it had brought her to the edge of an abyss.