Confession hadn’t helped her today, but maybe something else would. She bowed her head and crossed herself to pray the Act of Hope. “O my God,” she whispered, “relying on your infinite goodness and promises, I hope for pardon of my sins, the help of your grace and life everlasting, because you have promised it through the merits of Jesus Christ, my lord and redeemer.”

She paused. That was the end of the prayer, but she felt no lighter or warmer, no more beloved. One more thing seemed to be called for.

“Please,” she mumbled. “I’m begging you. Amen.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“So what the hell’s going on?”

Jonathan stood in the doorway to Hæra’s bedroom with his arms folded and brow creased.

Hæra frowned at him from the edge of the bed as she put proper shoes on. Muddy boots wouldn’t do for this morning’s excursion. “Why take that tone? I’m going to the hotel to meet Madeleine.”

“Does she know that?”

“She should,” Hæra hedged. True, she hadn’t actually told Madeleine she’d be showing up at her doorstep first thing, but it probably wouldn’t come as a surprise.

“Last night, you told me that yesterday you talked all morning, but then she ran off and not a word since. And there was her wanting to walk on the beach. What if she does that today? You wouldn’t go too, would you?”

Hæra’s stomach twisted at the thought. She said what she’d told herself yesterday: “It’s daytime. I doubt my herd is poking their heads above the water. It’s forbidden to nearly all of us.”

“Loads of things are forbidden. Seems to me that certain of your lot do what they please anyway. You’ve gone on for years about how it’s risky for me even to ferry between the islands, and now you can just go for a stroll on the beach?”

Was Jonathan concerned for her, or just annoyed that she’d nagged him for so long? Could be both. “Only the Sire, my mother, and my brother even know what I…that is, what my human form looks like.”

She looked Jonathan in the eye as she rose from the bed where, last night, she’d had such an enjoyable time. That was one experience she’d be keeping to herself.

As usual, at any mention of Asgall, Jonathan’s eyes clouded. He said, “I think that’d be enough. Especially your brother. He’s…” Jonathan set his jaw and looked away, toward the window and the land beyond. “You know what he is, and so do I.”

Hæra pursed her lips. Even after all this time, Asgall had a hold over Jonathan that she both resented and envied. Asgall had not appreciated Jonathan, had not cared for him, as Hæra did for Madeleine. And yet his human still felt his pull.