There was one thing she wouldn’t do, however.

She wouldn’t spiral. She wouldn’t panic like she had after their kiss in the alley. Yes, she and Hæra had gone farther the night before than she’d intended to. Much farther. A panic attack would be an understandable reaction, especially given everything she’d been wrestling with.

Wrestling with Hæra had been much more thrilling, though. More than thrilling, it had felt right. So like their first kiss, that night on the beach years ago. That had felt sanctioned, sanctified, divine—and it was just a kiss. Last night, when Hæra had come on Madeleine’s fingers, calling out her pleasure, it had felt like ascending to an even higher heaven.

The old, cold feeling of shame tugged at her with frozen fingers. Madeleine took a deep breath and pulled free of them. Not right now. Shame was for certainty, and certainty was its own kind of sin.

There would be time later for shame, if it came to that. But maybe it wouldn’t. The sun was out this morning. It was occasion for joy.

To Madeleine’s surprise, Jonathan was still in his pajamas when she arrived. He stood at the kitchen sink with a cup of coffee in his hands. His gaze was fixed upon the window.

Madeleine cleared her throat. He didn’t move. She cleared it more loudly, and then he twitched and turned around, his eyes widening.

She took a hesitant step into the kitchen. This was strange. Jonathan slept later than Hæra and the farmhands, but he was always up and dressed by now. “Good morning. Am I here too early?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Sorry. I lost track of the time. I knew you were coming over, didn’t I?”

He wasn’t usually so scattered. “Um, you said I should, yes.”

“Right, right.” He ran a hand over his balding head. “Coffee? I’ve not made my fry-up yet.”

“Coffee sounds good, thanks.” A greasy fry-up didn’t, and besides, Jonathan looked exhausted. She didn’t feel right having him wait on her. “Please don’t go to any extra trouble for breakfast. Cereal’s fine. In fact, I’m happy to get it myself.”

“No, no, sit down. No trouble at all, let me just get my head together, I…” Jonathan glanced around the kitchen, looking restless. “Strange night. I couldn’t sleep. Then Hæra told me we’ve had some mischief round the place.”

“What?”

Madeleine listened, astonished, as Jonathan told her about muddy footprints beneath his window. He insisted he wasn’t worried, that it was just some childish prank from a villager. “No matter where you are, there’s always foolish lads, aren’t there? I was one, once upon a time…I remember…”