Chapters (39)
- Cover
- Title
- Author’s Note
- Glossary
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Acknowledgments
Almost two years had passed and Derek had seen very little of Clare while she completed her degree. Michelle and Geoffrey were economical in their responses about her well-being when their friends asked after her. The general narrative was that she was picking up weight, albeit slowly and that, although she wasn’t as sociable as she had been, neither was she depressed. She continued to run and was doing exceptionally well in her studies. Derek, cowed by Clare’s response when he visited her, was no longer sure exactly what he would have done if he’d found out who had caused the girl’s trauma. Even so, he hung onto the idea that he could have helped her recover completely if she’d given him the chance.
When he heard Clare would join the group on the hike in place of her mother, Derek was disappointed. Despite having been repeatedly spurned by Michelle, Derek still loved her. He loved her wit and energy, and felt challenged to be smarter and funnier when she was around. More alive. The group seemed lighter and their conversation more engaging when Michelle was with them. He consoled himself with the idea that Michelle’s absence would be a good opportunity for him to get to know Clare better.
He hadn’t planned to tell Diane that he believed Clare was his daughter during the hours after they’d crossed the Bloukrans, and it came as something of a surprise to himself when he realised just how convinced he was of the fact in that moment. But Derek’s recklessness, if that’s what it was, wasn’t only due to the combination of shock, agony, painkillers and whiskey. It was sparked by the few minutes that he and Diane were pressed up against one another with only a rope between them and the raging river. It wasn’t so much that he’d seen his life flash before his eyes, but more that he saw that, if he survived, he needed to live with more urgency.
Derek had loved Michelle from the moment she had put forward the conditions of her friendship when they lined up outside their grade one classroom. Despite what she said, he believed they belonged together. They had been together. It was good. They should be together again. Before it was too late. And if the only way to get Michelle to that point was to force her to tell Geoffrey about Clare’s paternity, then so be it. He couldn’t wait any longer.