Chapters (39)
- Cover
- Title
- Author’s Note
- Glossary
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Acknowledgments
He did back off. Derek didn’t speak to Michelle about Clare again. He and Faye didn’t see much of her and Geoffrey for a while after the meeting at the coffee shop. Whether that was by design or coincidence, he couldn’t be sure but, by the time the group met up again, Clare was back at university. Derek, who had seen for himself how skeletal she’d become when he’d parked his car near their house and waited for her to run by one Saturday evening, was appalled that Michelle and Geoffrey had allowed her to return. He immediately began planning a business trip to Port Elizabeth so he could drive to the university and visit her.
As the day approached, Derek imagined Clare’s relief as he urged her to confide in him and tell him about her ordeal with, he imagined, someone—another student or a lecturer, perhaps—whose abuse had so traumatised her it had rendered her unable or unwilling to eat. He saw himself confronting the person and meting out justice, which would free Clare from the trauma and allow her to recover. He’d be her knight-in-shining-armour and, with the girl and her mother so grateful for his intervention, he told himself that the time would be right for Michelle to tell Clare that Derek was her biological father. Even when he acknowledged how far-fetched his fantasy was, Derek felt that his concern for Clare was warranted. He couldn’t let her fade away without trying to help.
His visit to campus and the ensuing lunch were disastrous. Derek hadn’t anticipated she might imagine that he’d come to deliver bad news to her about Geoffrey and Michelle. He was thrown by how relieved she was when he told her they were fine. It hadn’t ended there.
Clare didn’t want to talk about her illness. She was embarrassed and looked like a cornered rabbit who would flee as soon as the chance presented itself. Her concern was not about herself but about Geoffrey and the pain she’d caused him. Derek left, humiliated and deflated. He was also worried Clare would tell her mother about his visit, and that Michelle would eliminate him from her life for good. As the months passed though, he realised Clare hadn’t even found his visit consequential enough to mention. He knew he should be relieved, but it hurt.