“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you just haven’t met the person you’re meant to give your love to?” she asks, a tinge of exasperation in her voice.

“Has it ever occurred to you that some people aren’t meant to do that ever?”

Her stride falters for the first time, then she nods. “Absolutely. You’re right. And shame on me for suggesting otherwise. I’ve met tons of people who had no business promising to love someone forever. Kudos to you for acknowledging your own limitations.”

Tons of people, huh? There’s a story here. I wonder if she’d be willing to share it. We did agree this was the time to ask any burning questions, didn’t we? “These people who had no business promising love—were they promising to love you?”

“Yup,” she says glumly. “First, there was my father, who pretended he wanted to be in my life and ghosted me. Then there was Nolan. I met him in Ohio. He loved to make plans for our future, but when his stint at Building Futures ended, he asked to put our relationship ‘on pause.’ I don’t even know what that means. Oh, and then there was the guy in grad school, Chris. Now he was a scammer. He said he wanted forever, but it turns out, what he wanted was a girlfriend who edited his papers and took extra-careful notes so he could miss his morning classes. Unfortunately, my bullshit detector was on the fritz when I dated him.”

“I’m sorry you went through that.”

She shrugs. “It’s not anyone’s fault but mine. I chose poorly.”

“No, Solange. They were jerks, and that’s on them. Period.”

I never want to be like the men she’s encountered. The kind who say whatever they think their lover wants to hear. The kind who make bullshit promises, then balk when someone relies on them. I grew up with those guys. My mother and I had our lives upended by those guys too. I’ll be damned if I become one of them.

She taps me on the side; apparently, I’ve been silent too long. “I’m not scarred by any of this, and there’s no need to feel sorry for me. If anything, it’s helped me figure out what I do want. So, yeah, it’s all good.”

“Just in case it isn’t abundantly clear, I don’t play games with my partners. I’m always up-front about what they can expect of me. Probably explains why it took me this long to find someone who shared the same outlook. Or said she did.”