“No, it’s not that kind of gig.”

Lina nods. “So what’s next?”

I dip a fry into my ketchup. “Axe throwing. This Friday.”

Jaslene claps enthusiastically. “Sounds fun!”

“Fun would be fine, but uneventful is really what I’m going for,” I say. “I need to finish this ruse with Dean, so Brandon and I can engage in our own fake relationship.”

Lina blows out a long breath. “Do you hear yourself? Like, truly hear yourself, I mean. Because I bet if you stared in the mirror and repeated what you just said three times, Candyman would appear and tell you to get your shit together. Is fake dating your personality now?”

Jaslene slaps a hand on the table. “Wait, wait, wait. What the hell is going on?”

Lina and Natalia fill her in on Cousin Cláudia’s upcoming visit while I scarf down more than my fair share of the fries.

Without missing a beat, Natalia swats my hand away the moment I reach for the last mozzarella stick. “Don’t even think about it.” She turns back to Jaslene. “So Solange will be faking not one but two relationships in the span of a few weeks.”

I hit them with a smoldering gaze and throw my shoulder forward. “What can I say? I’m a popular woman.”

“Fake dating isn’t dating,” Lina points out.

I give her a “no duh” expression. “I know.”

“Do you?” she asks, her eyes narrowing. “Because it occurs to me that all this fake dating might be a convenient excuse for you to avoid the real thing.”

Waving off her preposterous observation, I grab the last fry. “What would be the point of starting to date someone now? I’m leaving DC soon. Besides, it’s not my fault that no one’s willing to meet my exacting standards.”

Lina snatches the fry from my hand. “Or maybe, just maybe, you make your standards so exacting to ensure that no one will ever meet them.”

“Or maybe, just maybe, she’s been holding out for someone like Dean,” Natalia says.

I shake my head more forcefully than necessary. “No.”

“I’m telling you,” Natalia continues. “I have a good feeling about this. Scoff if you want, but when you and Dean get married, I’m doing your wedding makeup. And I’m charging you extra for getting those brows under control, mulher.”

“Whatever, bitch.”

The nerve. Natalia and Lina don’t know what they’re talking about. Holding out for a relationship with someone who’s one hundred percent all in isn’t exacting; it’s what I deserve. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who isn’t prepared to love me with all their heart. I mean, the least I can do is learn from my mother’s experience. Which means Dean is a nonstarter. Simple as that.

Chapter Eleven

Dean

Solange: TGIF - ready for tonight? i’m excited!