‘What they for?’ Ricky asked, as his father threw a roll of dustbin liners on the ground.

‘Well, he weren’t gonna carry the fucking branches home in his hands, was he now?’ Ed replied cuttingly.

‘See you next Friday, Colin,’ Ed said, prodding him. The two fingers were lying next to Colin’s body, one with his wedding ring still attached.

Colin had his eyes shut now and Ed urged the lads to get back to the motor fast. ‘We’d better wait nearby, make sure the ambulance finds him,’ he said.

‘Do you reckon they’ll be able to sew his fingers back on?’ Stuart asked seriously.

Gary, Ricky and Eddie all burst out laughing. Stuart had been a real dab hand with the axe and his cool persona had impressed all of them.

Hearing sirens, Eddie glanced in his interior mirror. The ambulance had slowed down and had turned into the road that led to the dirt track. ‘I think we should stop for a beer when we get back near home. We can toast Stuart’s success on passing his trial.’

Ricky held out his right hand. ‘Well done, Stu. You were great.’

Stuart shook his hand and then grinned as Gary also offered him a handshake. ‘You did good! Welcome to the firm, Stuie boy.’

Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The day prior to Christmas Eve, Jed and his cousin Sammy went out on one of their notorious all-day drinking sessions. Their pub crawl started with well-known travellers’ haunts. They went to the Derby Digger in Wickford, the Bear in Noak Hill and had a skinful in the Farmhouse Tavern in Rush Green. They finally ended up in the Ship and Shovel in Barking, where they blagged two thirty-year-old birds and ended up back at their flat. At 6 a.m. Jed snorted his last line of cocaine, then wiped his finger over the wrap and rubbed the final grains around his gums.

‘That’s it, we’ve no more gear left,’ he said to the none-too-pretty bird who had been sucking him off for the last fifteen minutes. The bird released Jed’s penis from her mouth, moved up the bed and laid her head lovingly on his chest. Jed studied her as she tilted her head and smiled at him. He’d been well pissed when he’d met her last night, but in the cold light of day, she was not only fat, but also pig ugly. Jed pushed her off him, stood up and searched for his clothes.

‘Shall I make you some breakfast?’ the girl asked, completely smitten.

‘No, I’ve gotta get home. Me chavvies will be wondering where I am.’

‘What’s a chavvie?’

Jed ignored her dumb question and went to find his cousin. He found him on the sofa, naked and snuggled up to the pig’s mate. Jed punched Sammy on the arm.

‘Come on, it’s Christmas Eve. Let’s gel.’