With only vague memories of the previous evening, Sammy jumped up and quickly got dressed. He was now living with Julie, Sally’s mate, but he had her well under the thumb and came and went as he pleased.

‘You ain’t going yet, are ya?’ Sammy’s conquest asked.

Jed and Sammy both stared at the girl. Her skin was pure white, and she had ginger hair, freckles and a wide nose that was far too big for her face.

‘Fuck me and I thought mine was a moose,’ Jed said, laughing.

‘Come on, I feel ill looking at that,’ Sammy said, dragging his cousin towards the front door. Neither Jed nor Sammy said goodbye to the girls; they didn’t even know their names.

Unable to remember driving to the flat, Jed was relieved to see his Shogun parked across the road.

‘You must have had a dig in this last night, Jed. Look at the bumper and your wheel arch,’ Sammy said.

Jed glanced at the damage, then chuckled. ‘If I were you I wouldn’t worry about me having a dig in this – you wanna worry about what part of your anatomy you were digging into that monster you got hold of last night. I’ve shagged some rotters in my time, but ole ginger minge beats ’em all. You wanna get yourself down that clinic, Sammy boy.’

Playfully punching his cousin on the arm, Sammy got into the motor and was surprised to see a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s lying in the footwell. ‘Where did we get this from? Did we drink all that?’ he asked, picking the bottle up.

Jed shrugged. Neither he nor Sammy were usually whiskey drinkers, and Jed vaguely remembered a fellow traveller giving them the bottle in the Farmhouse Tavern.

Sammy unscrewed the lid, took a large gulp and handed the bottle to Jed, who did the same. ‘Ain’t there a boozer open now? I fancy carrying on for another few hours,’ Sammy said.

Jed turned the ignition and grinned. ‘I’ve got a better idea than going to some poxy boozer.’

‘What?’ Sammy asked.

‘Harry Mitchell’s buried not ten minutes from here. Let’s go over the cemetery, drink the rest of our JD and trash his grave. I remember Frankie telling me that Eddie Mitchell goes over there on Christmas Eve, so we can give the cunt a nice surprise, can’t we?’

Sammy roared with laughter. ‘Come on, let’s do it.’

Eddie Mitchell woke up early and arched his body into Gina’s back. He was really looking forward to Christmas this year, having just spent the last four in Wandsworth nick. It would also be the first time he and Gina had celebrated the festivities together, which made it even more special.