‘OK, I’ll call him first thing tomorrow,’ Stanley said sheepishly.

‘Number four. I want you to help me with the garden and the housework from now on. I don’t see why it should all be left to me.’

‘But I ain’t no good at gardening, Joycie, you know that,’ Stanley said, alarmed.

‘Well, like it or not, these are my rules and you either abide by them or piss off back to your old tart’s house.’

Stanley flinched at the mention of his old tart. Praying that Joycie didn’t have many more rules, he nodded his head.

‘My fifth rule is, you must never utter another bad word about Eddie Mitchell in this house ever again. That man’s been bloody good to me since you did your vanishing act and I am determined that he’s going to be part of my life from now on and I’d like him to visit this house whenever he wishes.’

‘But he’s getting hitched again today. I hope you ain’t gonna invite that new wife of his around here. It ain’t right – this was our Jessica’s house,’ Stanley complained.

‘I’ll decide what’s right and wrong. This house belongs to me and, like it or not, you’re just the lodger here now, OK?’ Joyce said adamantly.

‘OK. I suppose if Eddie’s been good to you, then it’s only right that you keep in touch with him,’ Stanley replied reluctantly.

‘Number six is –’

‘How many more are there, Joycie?’ Stanley asked, dismayed. He was thrilled she’d allowed him to come back home, but this rule lark was getting beyond a joke now.

‘Shut up. Don’t you dare interrupt me. Rule number six is my last. I want you to call your solicitor and cancel that divorce. Even though you and I know you’re only the lodger, Stanley, I will not have our friends and family under the impression that we are living in sin. It’s not morally acceptable.’

Stanley smirked at this rule. ‘Yes, dear.’

Proud of her set of ground rules, Joyce put her pen and paper on the glass table and smiled at her husband. ‘Right, hurry up and finish your tea. I need you to cut the grass in the back garden for me.’

‘But it’s freezing out there, Joycie. The ground will be bleedin’ rock hard.’

‘I’ll decide whether the ground’s rock hard or not. Now drink that tea, come on, chop chop.’

Stanley gulped the rest of his tea down and bolted outside to get the lawnmower out of the shed. His life would be hell from now on, he was well aware of that, but he also knew that deep down, his Joycie still loved him. Why else would she stop their divorce?