Landon shrugs. “Not much you can say.”

“Did she… You said she forgave you, what did you mean by that?”

Landon shrugs. “Just that she told me after she had her fourth hospital stay.”

I raised my eyebrow in confusion. “She had four hospital stays. How long after the accident did she pass?”

“Two years. She had trauma to her liver. She did dialysis for a year and eight months. Her recovery was slow, but the doctors were optimistic. Then she got diagnosed with cancer. It was terminal… She stopped treatment after that.” Landon sobbed. “And the worst part is a part of me was relieved. I could not watch her go through that pain again. I couldn’t—” He cut off.

“Oh my goodness, Landon.” Guilt swamped me. “And I…just left for you to worry… I was in the hospital…and my liver…” My breath starts coming in gasping pants.

“Brooke, Brooke, breathe. Brooke. Beagchaithnini sneachta. Breathe.” He reaches out, taking me into his arms, and pulling me over the console, into his lap.

He tucks my face into his neck, and I take full advantage, burying my face into the crook of his neck. Landon soothes a hand up and down my back, murmuring words of comfort while I sobbed. After a while, I manage to stop crying and pull myself together. I pull back from Landon so I could look him in the eye.

“I’m so sorry, Landon. You must hate me,” I say, brushing tears off my face.

Landon narrows his eyes at me. “I could never hate you, Beagchaithnini sneachta,” he says forcefully, as if demanding me to believe him.

“But it must have been agonizing for you to find me unconscious like you did and then to learn about my illness. After watching your mother go into liver failure and then cancer.”

I shake my head, too overwhelmed to process this.

Landon presses his forehead against mine. “Yeah, it scared the shit out of me. I only wish you would have told me. I keep thinking if only I told you I loved you sooner—showed you I loved you—you wouldn’t have suffered alone or as long.”

His words trigger another batch of tears. I cup Landon’s check forcing him to keep eye contact.

“I’m so sorry, Landon. I’m so sorry you carried this pain.”

“I deserved it,” Landon argues.

“No, you didn’t, Landon. You made a mistake and did a bad thing, but you did not kill your mother. She stopped her treatment when she was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. You are a beautiful person inside and out, and I love you.”

“I love you so much,” Landon replies before wrapping me in another embrace. We hold each other for what seemed like forever before Cahal starts fussing.

I pull away from Landon, reaching for the bottle in the diaper bag.

“Did you want to go see her?” I ask.