After I am all prepared for tonight, I go and get Cahal from his crib. He is squawking in hunger, so I bring him down to the kitchen to prepare a bottle. Cahal starts guzzling the milk down greedily as he snuggles into me. I smile down at him, and tears burned in my eyes. I am going to miss everything.

“He certainly has an appetite.”

I look up at the sound of Landon’s voice. He is leaning in the entryway. “He gets it from you.” I joke.

Landon saunters over to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. He rests his chin on my shoulder so he could watch his son eat.

“He has your eyes,” he mumbled. I hum in response. We fall into silence as we watch our son eat.

When he finishes his bottle, I put him on my shoulder and start to gently burp him. Landon takes the bottle and starts to clean it.

“Sonia’s going to come over for lunch to meet Cahal,” I say.

“Of course. I still have a bit of work to do, so I’ll leave you guys to your lunch.” He gives me a kiss before he leaves for his study.

*****

“Oh, he is just so darling! The perfect mix of Landon and you!” Sonia exclaims as we relax in the sunroom feasting on chicken sandwiches. I smile down as Cahal makes funny faces in his sleep. That seems to be the only thing he does. Eat, sleep, and poop.

“Landon says he has my eyes.”

Sonia nods enthusiastically at this. “Oh, he does! I can definitely see it.”

Sadness engulfs me again, but I push it away. Sonia gives me a sad smile. “Do you really have to go?”

I push back tears. “Yes.”

“But why? I don’t understand. What are you running from? Why would you leave when you and Landon are finally getting along?”

“Sonia, please… I can’t.” My voice creaks and Sonia put her arm around me in a side hug.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, I’ll do as you asked, and of course, you have my number if you need anything.”

“Thank you Sonia. I don’t think I could do this if I didn’t know someone was here to look after them.”

*****

Landon and I have a wonderful dinner that night. Though as much as I try, I could not keep my sadness at bay. Landon continuously asks me what was wrong. I feel guilty, knowing I am leaving this wonderful man and our perfect son without an any explanation. But I cannot do it. I lay awake for a long time after Landon fell asleep, watching him sleep. Then I go and watch my son sleep until I cannot push it off anymore, and I grab my suitcase and leave, with a whispered goodbye to both of them.

Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

A Visit to My Father-in-Law

Landon