Contents (57)
- THE TRIMMED LAMP
- * * *
- O. HENRY
- *
- Contents
- *
- The Trimmed Lamp
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- A Madison Square Arabian Night
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- The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
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- The Pendulum
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- Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
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- The Assessor of Success
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- The Buyer from Cactus City
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- The Badge of Policeman O'Roon
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- Brickdust Row
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- The Making of a New Yorker
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- Vanity and Some Sables
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- The Social Triangle
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- The Purple Dress
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- The Foreign Policy of Company 99
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- The Lost Blend
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- A Harlem Tragedy
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- "The Guilty Party"
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- According to Their Lights
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- A Midsummer Knight's Dream
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- The Last Leaf
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- The Count and the Wedding Guest
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- The Country of Elusion
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- The Ferry of Unfulfilment
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- The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
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- Elsie in New York
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- * * *
Liz ran out and down the street swift and true as a woodcock flying through a grove of saplings at dusk.
And then followed the big city's biggest shame, its most ancient and rotten surviving canker, its pollution and disgrace, its blight and perversion, its forever infamy and guilt, fostered, unreproved and cherished, handed down from a long-ago century of the basest barbarity—the Hue and Cry. Nowhere but in the big cities does it survive, and here most of all, where the ultimate perfection of culture, citizenship and alleged superiority joins, bawling, in the chase.
They pursued—a shrieking mob of fathers, mothers, lovers and maidens—howling, yelling, calling, whistling, crying for blood. Well may the wolf in the big city stand outside the door. Well may his heart, the gentler, falter at the siege.
Knowing her way, and hungry for her surcease, she darted down the familiar ways until at last her feet struck the dull solidity of the rotting pier. And then it was but a few more panting steps—and good mother East River took Liz to her bosom, soothed her muddily but quickly, and settled in five minutes the problem that keeps lights burning o' nights in thousands of pastorates and colleges.
*
It's mighty funny what kind of dreams one has sometimes. Poets call them visions, but a vision is only a dream in blank verse. I dreamed the rest of this story.
I thought I was in the next world. I don't know how I got there; I suppose I had been riding on the Ninth avenue elevated or taking patent medicine or trying to pull Jim Jeffries's nose, or doing some such little injudicious stunt. But, anyhow, there I was, and there was a great crowd of us outside the courtroom where the judgments were going on. And every now and then a very beautiful and imposing court-officer angel would come outside the door and call another case.
While I was considering my own worldly sins and wondering whether there would be any use of my trying to prove an alibi by claiming that I lived in New Jersey, the bailiff angel came to the door and sang out:
"Case No. 99,852,743."
Up stepped a plain-clothes man—there were lots of 'em there, dressed exactly like preachers and hustling us spirits around just like cops do on earth—and by the arm he dragged—whom, do you think? Why, Liz!
The court officer took her inside and closed the door. I went up to Mr. Fly-Cop and inquired about the case.
"A very sad one," says he, laying the points of his manicured fingers together. "An utterly incorrigible girl. I am Special Terrestrial Officer the Reverend Jones. The case was assigned to me. The girl murdered her fiance and committed suicide. She had no defense. My report to the court relates the facts in detail, all of which are substantiated by reliable witnesses. The wages of sin is death. Praise the Lord."
The court officer opened the door and stepped out.