Tiffany Chamberlain narced. I told you about her, right? My former friend turned torturess when Dean Black chose me. Well, now she’s number one with a bullet on the pages of police interviews.

Sara used to be really nice. We were pretty good friends. But she was kind of a tomboy, and I guess when I became a cheerleader, we kind of had nothing in common anymore. But she was still nice. Then she started hanging out with the burnout boys. They all just hang out in the bushes and do, I don’t know, drugs, I guess. A few weeks ago, she completely changed so much more. How? I don’t know. She started looking really angry all the time. It was like she hated everybody. She’d just walk down the halls, giving everybody dirty looks. Now, when I look back I can see that she was plotting a murder. Do I think she’s capable of hurting a total stranger? Oh my God, definitely.

The next one makes me laugh. Dave Parsons, I remember that guy. Some acned itching guy who drove a beater and got suspended once because they found him in the bathroom funneling Wildcat beer on the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance. He tried talking to me once when I was watching Ivy climb into her green Volvo. I blocked that loser out of my mind but, unluckily for me, he remembers everything.

I don’t know if you guys know this but Sara grew up in some sex family. Like they were always having sex. Everywhere. Like they did it with dogs even. My pops told me all about them. They were like the Manson Family, but instead of killing sprees, they went on fuck—sorry—sex sprees. Gross hippie shit, you know. One time, oh yeah, I just remembered this the other day. One time, me and my buddies were in my car in the parking lot, and she was just hanging around. I thought maybe she wanted to talk to us ’cause she was usually back out in the bushes with Dean Black and his whole stoner crew. So, me and my friends, we weren’t teasing her or nothing. We just go, “Hey, Sara, hey, is it true you were raised by the Sex Family?” And she goes, well, she didn’t say anything actually. And then my friend Tommy, he was just joking, you know, he asks her if she can give his girlfriend some sex tips ’cause his girlfriend’s frigid. And Sara, she just gives us this look. Cold. Like we were all laughing, but it freaked me out. You heard about her nickname right? She’s psycho. We all called her the Ice Queen.

“Is Dave Parsons going to testify to that? Is he going to get up and tell everyone that I was raised in some sex family, ’cause that’s not relevant. I don’t want—”

“No, it’s not relevant. You’re right. There’s only one witness I’m worried about, and I want you to read his statement and tell me if it’s accurate.”