“She needs to go back to America this minute and find that sneak. She needs to step in and take her rightful place. I think she’s in shock at the minute. You just wait, I’ll convince her to go. She’s always listened to me in the past.”

“Why don’t you just leave it alone, Kate?” sighed Da.

I pushed my way past them and went up to my room. Ma was right about one thing. I would have to go back to New York. I couldn’t stay here a minute longer with her harping at me day and night.

That night I cried for the first time in a long time. They were tears of self-pity. Why had my whole world turned upside down? Why had Mrs. Shaw died? Why had Sinclair turned out to be a monster? Why was I left with nowhere else to go except back home? And now I was being forced out of here. What had I done to deserve all this? And why was I not even sure who I was anymore?

* * *

Now that I’d made up my mind to go back to New York, I was faced with the problem of how to get there. I had very little money left from what Ben had given me, certainly not enough for the boat passage—not even in steerage. I thought of writing to Dom to ask for money, but my pride wouldn’t let me. Ma and Da hadn’t that sort of money. I realized at last that my only choice was to sell Mrs. Shaw’s beautiful locket.

My tears flowed as I pressed the locket against my throat. How was I ever to part with it? To do so would be like betraying the best friend I had ever known. That night I dreamed of Mrs. Shaw. In the dream, she gently unfastened the locket from around my throat and thrust it into my hand. “Take it, dear girl,” she whispered. “This is a journey you must make. Take it with my blessing.”

The next day I rode in the pony cart with Da into Donegal Town. He had business to attend to with some local farmers, he said, while I made up a story about wanting new boots. I left him at the corner of the main street, telling him I would be back in an hour. I went straight to the only pawn shop in town. I’d decided that instead of selling the locket outright, I would pawn it. The idea comforted me with the hope that one day I could buy it back. Still, I had a lump in my throat when I handed it over.

Ma was quick to notice the locket was gone. I had worn it every day since I’d been home, and my throat felt naked.

“Where is it?”

“I pawned it.”

“Well, good riddance,” said Ma.