Now I understood why Aidan had been so anxious to get out of New York and back here to the wide-open spaces, where he could breathe easily, and people took one another at face value. Thinking of him now made me blush. I looked up to see if Mayflower had noticed, but she was busy talking with a friend who had happened by, so I indulged myself in my secret longings. I had grasped at every bit of attention Aidan had sent my way in the last few days, and I was hungry for more.

But now he had gone off to the oil fields, to this Shotgun City, and who knew how long he would be away. My heart sank at the thought. Of course, I would have plenty to do with Lily’s lessons, and Mayflower was determined to entertain me with more trips to Dallas. And while these pursuits would be rewarding and enjoyable, they would not make up for Aidan’s absence. I knew I was being foolish, but my days would be empty without him. I was shocked at how much a part of my life I had let him become over the last year.

Suddenly, Ma’s words came into my mind: You’ll never amount to anything, my girl, and you may as well chase away any dreams you have of things getting better for you in the future. They won’t. You don’t deserve it. I bit my lip to keep from crying out, You’re wrong, Ma. I do deserve happiness. I do.

“Is everything all right, darlin’?” said Mayflower.

I smiled back. “I’m grand, Mayflower.”

She stood up from the table and walked toward the door. As I followed her outside, my smile disappeared. Indignation, anger and resolve took over. I was not the old Delia anymore. This new Delia was going to reach out and seize her chance at happiness.

* * *

No matter how often I broached the topic of going to visit Shotgun City with Lily, my pleas fell upon deaf ears. At first, Aidan just shook his head. Later he’d utter a curt “No!” Finally, in exasperation, he turned to me one day and put his face close to mine.

“I want to hear no more of it, Delia. I have said ‘no’ a dozen times. It is no place for a young woman, let alone a child. The place is filled with roughnecks and criminals. As your employer, I am responsible for your welfare, and as Lily’s father, I am responsible for her life. Let this be an end to the matter.”