Which I prayed would be immediately, as I watched the trio trot off to Nella’s, arms around each other. They might be a little over-partial to the tie-dye look and a Bible verse for my liking, but their love for one another was in no doubt.

‘Fabulous turnout, eh?’ Lena shimmied up in top-to-toe leopard skin, looking stunning, Heathcliff in tow – dressed as Woody from Toy Story. ‘My Instagram feed has paid off, thank God!’ She was holding several Harvey Nichols bags. ‘You know, Ruby, I used to love being a doctor’s wife. Me, the scrawny kid with Aboriginal blood running in her veins, being part of the British Establishment – imagine!’

‘Yes, sounds… amazing.’ Was she drunk? ‘And amazing to be part Aboriginal.’

‘A true native Australian, eh? We were there first, if you like,’ she said absently. ‘Got to say I was gutted when Ish – you know – turned down a new path. But today, I am so proud of my little PR business!’ She waved a vague hand around. ‘Just look at all this!’

‘Well, yeah.’ My teeth were now so set they were painful. ‘Good job.’

‘Sorry I was late this morning – I was doing last-minute press stuff. Look, I’m just going to dump my designer bits on the clothes stall.’ Lena winked, shoving the boy forward. ‘Doing my bit for the planet, eh? Make the little fella even more beautiful, hey, darl – won’t be long.’

‘No probs,’ I managed. ‘We’ll be fine, eh, Heathcliff?’

He stuck his tongue out so far, it nearly went up his left nostril.

‘I love your outfit,’ I told the child as Lena scarpered.

‘It’s crap. I want to be Black Panther,’ Heathcliff demanded.

Halfway through my clumsy attempt at a superhero I knew little about, I spotted Lena through the crowd at the bar, full pint in hand, chatting to Marcus and the enthralled neighbour, Bill.

Meanwhile, her son had spotted one of his classmates eating candyfloss, at which point he melted down to a degree that made me worry he might pass out from hyperventilation.

‘I’m sure Mummy will get you some in a minute.’ I wiped black face paint off both his streaming nose and my pinafore, trying frantically to catch her eye.

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry.’ In the nick of time, Ish appeared to retrieve his sobbing son. ‘I’ve been setting up the GoGreen stand, hoping to sign a load of people up to the cause! Where’s Lena?’

‘Um…’ I pointed over the heads of the waiting children to where Lena was busy entertaining Marcus’s friends with an impersonation that had them all literally doubled over with laughter.

Unsmiling, Ish scooped up his howling son. ‘C’mon, soldier, let’s get you some sugar, shall we? Lena doesn’t let him have it normally.’

I wasn’t surprised, but I didn’t say anything.

‘A special treat, isn’t it? Then we’ll come and get your face finished.’

‘Brilliant,’ I said weakly, eardrums ringing with Heathcliff’s wails.