I thought sadly of my few days in the Peak District with Zach and my mother a few weeks ago. I’d finally bitten the bullet so he at least got some holiday – the only holiday this year for him, and nothing about my mother’s constant moaning, the drab B & B or damp walks in the rainy Peaks could have been described as fun.

‘Or before the world explodes.’ Cecilia finally looked up. ‘Cos of all the flights to Angkor Wat, and the land flooded irreparably by hotel chains.’

Melissa snorted as Nella turned her steely gaze on the other girl. ‘Oh, we always offset, darling. A hundred trees should do it, no? Or is it 150, Markie?’

‘I quite like the new trend for plus-size models actually,’ Lena interjected, with the confidence of someone who’d never worried about her figure. ‘Body positive.’

‘Body flab, more like. You can’t deny clothes hang better on a size eight than a size eighteen.’ Rebekah popped yet another bottle of Prosecco and offered it around excitedly. ‘I detox every New Year in Thailand.’

I sat on my hands. ‘No, thanks.’ I fully intended to stay in control around these people. ‘I’m fine.’

‘I like a woman with a bit of meat on her,’ said Bill.

Rebekah looked put out. ‘You should tell Pete that.’

‘I’ll have Ruby’s.’ Melissa held up her plastic cup.

‘You coming?’ Willow asked Zach coolly, and Zach coloured up.

God he looked like Jonny when he was being shy.

‘Sure.’ Zach dragged a reluctant Cecilia to her feet. ‘C’mon, Ces.’

‘Really?’ she moaned. ‘I’d rather stay by the fire. I’m freezing.’

Oh, come on, I thought. Don’t let yourself down.

‘Hey, mate.’ Marcus twiddled his tuning keys. ‘How do you fancy helping with the music set-up for the street party? Stormzy’s playing.’

‘Stormzy?’ I saw the light blaze in Zach’s eyes. ‘Sick!’

‘C’mon, Zach.’ Willow smiled at him and held a hand out.

‘Play our song, Markie!’ Nella commanded as we all watched Zach and Cecilia move off in her daughter’s wake.

Marcus strummed the opening chords of ‘Penny Lane’.

Nella cleared her throat; Marcus switched fluently to ‘All My Loving’.

‘Lovely.’ Nella gazed at him. ‘Takes me right back.’

‘Such a nice boy, Ruby, your Zach.’ Lena swayed gently to the guitar. ‘And so handsome.’

‘Oh, thank you.’ I felt a swell of pride I knew immediately I had no right to. ‘But…’ I hesitated. ‘It’s just, I worry about him so much since his dad – you know. Boys need fathers, don’t you think? Specially at this age. Puberty and all that. I mean, he has his football team, and the coach is really supportive, but it’s not like having a dad, is it, and boys need dads, don’t they?’ Marcus had stopped playing, I vaguely registered, but I was overtaken by something unstoppable. ‘I grew up with a sister, no brothers, and my own dad was – well, he’s dead now anyway, and…’

‘It’s OK, hon.’ Melissa smiled, patted my knee. ‘We get it. It’s been really tough for you.’