‘Just want to say, darl,’ she drawled in her earthy Australian accent, ‘for what it’s worth, I don’t believe it. From what I saw, it was mutual between your boy and the Billie Eilish lookalike. I saw the way she looked at him: how much she liked him. Same as on that dreadful camping trip.’ There was a pause in the recording. ‘Bit odd he ended up in bed with Willow Jackson, I s’pose – but, hey, teenagers, eh, darl? Hang in there.’

How naive to feel the flush of relief I felt then. How very daft I was.

Because it was only seconds later that the Street Party WhatsApp group went live with excitement.

Have you seen Jan Vermaak’s Mummy blog? Who the hell’s she talking about?

Jan: Mum Of The Iced Gems

‘My Darling Daughters’ Blog

Halfway through breakfast this morning, you lovely people, my good friends began to let me know what’s been happening in the neighbourhood.

HOT OFF THE PRESS: They sure know who to come to when they want to get the info out into the public sphere. Yes, a veritable spate of WhatsApp messages started pinging on my phone as I enjoyed my low carb bread from Betsy’s, with fresh honey flown in straight from our own Vermaak Farms, in the homeland (South Africa, for those who didn’t know).

Now, it’s not unusual for me to get lots of messages, I must say, lovely people… and yet these were a bit of a shocker: imagine my horror!!!!

Have you heard, have you heard??!!

OMG can you believe it?! Boys eh?

Boys will be boys

What’s the world coming to???

Have you heard, dear reader? So I’ve been advised by my top legal team (aka the scrummy Mr Vermaak, aka my darling other half) not to mention names here, but suffice to say, someone near Northgate Square has been visited by the police, in connection with events after the Street Party.

Suffice to say, it’s looking pretty serious.

Excuse me, btw, if there’s few free offers in today’s posting, but I’m a bit beside myself, I must say. You understand, I’m sure.

Back to Street Party events. Well: those poor, poor girls.

Meanwhile, as we all wait for more news on this devastation, please, stay parenting strong!!! 💪

I know someone who obviously didn’t – and look where that’s got her son. A little harsh? I don’t think so: I’m just saying. More news as I get it.

Melissa

I’d been thrown by Ruby’s sudden appearance at the gym – but, actually, it took mere seconds to realise how pleased I was to see her.

Although I couldn’t show her that. My guard was up.

It had gutted me to find myself on such difficult ground yesterday; I knew avoiding Ruby had been cowardly. She was like my sister, really; a sister I’d never had, I felt that much affection for her.

And honestly, my head had been spinning with it since Nella Jackson turned up yesterday – but with Ruby standing right in front of me, so pale and desperate, it was hard to concentrate, and my shell sealed around me.