“Oh it’s no trouble!” he roared cheerfully. “There are unlimited cup-bearers and flagon-pourers waiting up the corridor for a chance to show off their stuff—” I still shook my head. Rather to my surprise he continued rattling on. “Bringers-in and takers-out. Each of them some sort of exalted specialist. If you want one, they can probably produce a slave to pick the fluff out of your navel, complete with a fluff-picker’s apron and a pearl-handled fluff-picking tool!” He seemed to have settled down.

“Nice relaxing retirement, sir,” I chivied him gravely, “coming into all that.”

“I stopped relaxing when I saw the wages bill,” Vespasian said bitterly.

He turned those deep eyes on me and I realized, I could have handled Titus, but not him.

“I heard about your antics over the fee.”

“I did not mean to insult you, sir.”

Vespasian was silent. It seemed to me the look of strain for which he was so famous could easily be the effect of years in public places trying not to laugh. He was not, however, laughing now.

“What you insult is your own undoubted intelligence!” I like a man to be frank. Just as well. “So what,” enquired the Emperor more mildly, “is this latest piece of pantomime about?”

So that was when I explained to Vespasian what I had come here hoping to achieve.

I told him the tale and I said I was sorry; I begged for a second chance as a clerk. He asked why; I said her; he said no.

I said What? Then he said no again.

This was not what I expected, not what I expected at all.

After that Vespasian offered me a job. It was my turn to say no. I pointed out he disliked informers and I disliked Emperors; we were hardly well matched. He explained that he did not dislike the informers as such, only the work that they did. I confided that I felt much the same about Emperors.

He looked at me for a long time, though did not seem particularly upset.

“So this visit is about the Camillus girl?” I said nothing. “Falco, I don’t believe in unsuitable liaisons across the ranks. A senator’s daughter has a duty to respect the honour of her family. I’m considered old-fashioned,” the Emperor commented.

I could hardly avoid knowing, since it was the talk of Rome, that Vespasian himself had kept house for years with a freed slave who had first been his mistress forty years ago. It was said, though it seemed unlikely, he had even brought this loyal old body to the Palace with him now.

“Sir, with due respect, I won’t interrogate you on these matters, so I don’t expect to have to answer for myself.”

I think he was offended this time but after a second he grinned. “Titus says she seems a sensible wench.”

“I thought so,” I snapped back, “until she tangled with me!”