‘I’m doing all right,’ Norah said, because she had to say something.

‘Where are you living? Still in Berlin?’

‘Vienna.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yes, it’s a great city.’

‘And?’ Monika asked.

‘And what?’

‘Seeing anyone?’

Norah hesitated. She was the one who’d left Alex, not the other way round. So why was it still so painful?

‘Not right now,’ she said.

‘Nothing to say you have to. It’ll happen when it’s meant to.’

Norah usually rolled her eyes when someone felt obliged to offer her comfort like this, as if singledom were a terminal illness. But she couldn’t bring herself to be angry with Monika.

‘Any other news?’ Monika asked.

Norah searched frantically for a satisfactory answer, but she was too slow and Monika sighed.

‘You girls,’ she said. ‘You always were closed books, the pair of you.’

Norah suddenly felt cold, as if a cloud had passed over the sun. Guilt rose in her gorge like heartburn. Even if she’d tried, she wouldn’t have been able to get a word out. She hadn’t expected Monika to mention her daughter unprompted. Not now—not today, after years of talking to Norah on the phone without a word about Valerie.

‘Do you know what Valerie’s dad used to call her?’

Norah shook her head. She tried to make a negative noise in her throat, but it came out as a croak.

‘The black box,’ Monika said.

Norah said nothing.

‘Do you get it? A black box. All kinds of stuff goes into it. You know there’s an awful lot in there—probably more than you can imagine. But nothing ever comes out.’

Norah didn’t know what to say.

‘You were both like that,’ Monika went on. ‘Maybe it’s normal, maybe all teenagers are like that and I’ve just forgotten that I was the same.’

She was silent, then gave a short laugh, as if to take some of the gravity from her words.

‘Not with each other,’ Norah said softly.

‘What?’

‘We weren’t like that with each other.’

‘I know,’ Monika said. ‘I know.’

Norah heard the static in the line as the silence spread.

‘Do you have someone you can talk to?’ Monika asked suddenly.

‘What do you mean?’

‘What I just said.’

‘Of course I talk to people.’

‘Really? Properly?’

Norah said nothing.

‘We need people,’ Monika said. ‘I know it sounds banal, but it’s true. We can’t live only for ourselves. We have to—’

She broke off and Norah wondered whether this was something she’d learnt during the therapy she underwent after Valerie’s death.

‘We have to learn to open up to others,’ Monika went on. ‘We have to learn to accept help. Do you understand?’

Norah croaked agreement. The turn of conversation was making her feel physically unwell and she seized the first opportunity to end the call without being impolite. Monika was well and Norah wanted things to stay that way. She’d get the information she needed somewhere else.

The call to Valerie’s brother was rather different. Norah hadn’t been in touch with him for years and knew only that he lived in Leipzig and ran his own IT company. But a quick Google search found his office number and, amazingly enough, she was put straight through to him. He sounded awkward when he took the call, but that was hardly surprising; there he was at work, expected to be serious, and suddenly his kid sister’s best friend was at the other end of the line—a girl he used to smoke weed with, a girl who once slapped him round the face when he misread the signs and tried to kiss her.