BEATRICE: You can say that again.

SILVIO: Fortunately she disarmed me and saved my life.

CLARICE: But only because I intervened.

SILVIO: Even more true.

FLORINDO: [to PANTALONA] Signora Beatrice and I intend to marry and we would like you to honour us as a witness to this wedding.

PANTALONA: I am honoured. Join your hands.

FLORINDO: I’m ready, Signora Beatrice.

BEATRICE: Here is my hand, Signor Florindo.

TRUFFALDINO: [aside] They don’t waste any time.

CLARICE: Friend, I am happy for you.

BEATRICE: And I for … thank you.

PANTALONA: Are we ready?

TRUFFALDINO: I object! Not really, I just have to … [To FLORINDO] Can I have a word?

FLORINDO: Right now? What do you want?

TRUFFALDINO: Do you remember what you promised me?

FLORINDO: What?

TRUFFALDINO: To ask Signora Pantalona for Smeraldina’s hand.

FLORINDO: Yes, I remember. Fine. I’ll do it immediately. [To PANTALONA] Signora Pantalona, even though this is the first time I’ve had the honour of meeting you, I feel bold enough to ask another favour.

PANTALONA: Shoot.

FLORINDO: My servant longs to have your servant as a wife. Would you have any problem in handing them over?

SMERALDINA: [aside] Oh, bella! [Great!] Another one wants me! I wonder who this other guy is?

PANTALONA: I’m happy. [To SMERALDINA] What do you say?

SMERALDINA: I say why not?

CLARICE: Signor Florindo has beaten me to it. I was to ask for Smeraldina’s hand for the servant of Signora Beatrice. But you have already asked for yours, so don’t worry about it.

FLORINDO: No, no, but if you made this promise to your servant, I will step aside and allow Beatrice’s servant the honour of yours.

BEATRICE: I don’t mind, Signor Florindo, so you go ahead.

FLORINDO: You are being too polite. Signora Beatrice my love, ignore my request. In fact, I forbid him to marry.

TRUFFALDINO: Oh!

BEATRICE: And to be fair I shall forbid mine to marry too.

SMERALDINA: Oh!

TRUFFALDINO: Oh, great! They act all nice and I stay single!

SMERALDINA: Mamma mia! [My goodness!] From having two husbands, I’ll end up with none!

PANTALONA: Come on, just give her one or the other.

FLORINDO: To mine no, I refuse to challenge my little snookums.

BEATRICE: Nor I permit myself to do this to my little hot salami.

TRUFFALDINO: Excuse me. I’ll fix this. [To FLORINDO] Did you not ask for Smeraldina’s hand in marriage for your servant?

FLORINDO: Sì.

TRUFFALDINO: [to CLARICE] And you, did you not intend Smeraldina for the servant of Signora Beatrice?

CLARICE: Sì.

TRUFFALDINO: Right. So, Smeraldina, give me your hand.

PANTALONA: Why?

TRUFFALDINO: Because I, I am the servant of Signor Florindo and of Signora Beatrice!

All react.

FLORINDO: Signora Beatrice, your servant, where is he?

BEATRICE: Here he is.

FLORINDO: Truffaldino is my servant.

BEATRICE: Isn’t yours Pasquale?

FLORINDO: Wasn’t Pasquale yours?

BEATRICE: What’s going on?

TRUFFALDINO shrugs and makes apologetic gestures.

FLORINDO: You served two masters at the same time?

TRUFFALDINO: Sì, Signori. Look, it’s a funny story, you’ll laugh when I tell you. I done a clever thing, you have to admit. It didn’t last long but at least I can be proud that no-one found out until now. In truth, if it wasn’t for the love of that girl I may have even got away with it, but her damn beauty and brains just got me. But seeing as you’re all in love and happy and stuff, maybe all you good sirs will find it in your hearts to forgive me. Scusa! E viva l’amore! [Sorry! And long live love!]