He went back to the kitchen and returned with a cold bottle of champagne that the estate agent had left them in the fridge. ‘That’s a bit snobby, darling – I think we should at least give them a chance!’

‘With Christmas decorations like that? Hmmm. Perhaps we could hang a blackout sheet up in the meantime,’ she said with a grin. ‘Although I guess that wouldn’t exactly be very neighbourly – they might think we were doing it to stop them spying on us.’

‘They are spying on us,’ he replied.

‘What?’

‘They are, darling. I saw their blinds move when I got out of the car this morning, and every time I look across, I keep seeing the blinds in the same downstairs window twitching.’

‘Perhaps they’re curious, like we are, to see who their new neighbours are. They must be happy to have another couple on the estate. The agent said we’re only the second owners to move in. It must have felt like living in a ghost town.’

Jason frowned. ‘I think – what’s his name – Paul Jordan must be mistaken; there are people in the house directly opposite us – the one that looks like a small child’s drawing. I saw a couple and two children through one of the windows this morning.’

‘Oh, so my husband is a peeping Tom, is he?’ she said, peering across at it. ‘It’s a funny-looking house – two windows upstairs, two down, either side of the front door, and a pointy roof. You’re right, like something a child would draw.’ She hesitated. ‘Are you sure you saw people there?’

‘Yes, in one of the upstairs rooms.’

‘But there are no lights on, and no car outside.’

‘Perhaps they’re out.’

‘More likely they haven’t moved in yet, and were just there measuring up, or whatever,’ she said.

‘There! Number thirty-six, they’re looking at us again, I saw the blinds move!’

‘Shall I flash at them?’

‘Might be a lechy old perv living there who’d get off on that.’

‘Doesn’t look much like a lechy old perv’s house to me.’

He peered out. ‘No, too naff. It’s actually horrible – I mean, how did the same architect who designed this place ever think that house was a good idea? Or the one opposite. I mean, ours is a really pretty house – it’s like he designed this, got drunk, and came back to his drawing board and did that one and the Grotties.’

‘The Grotties! I like that. I think one of us should go over tomorrow and say hi, put them out of their misery so they can see we’re actually human. And tell them how much we like their Christmas lights.’

‘I’d like to see you do that with a straight face.’ He raised the bottle in the air. ‘Grrrrrrrrrr, we’re your new neighbours, we’re the cousins of the Munsters and we are very, very, very weird!’

Emily giggled.

He set the bottle on top of an unopened packing case the removals men had plonked there and began working on the foil.